Thats weird I heard you like getting raped??!! NO but seriously I know its hard to get a good deal. Just go to a decent gym doesn't have to be WORLD'S or BALLY's. They are usually the ones that want a HUGE initial fee.
I thought I remember you saying you worked for VZ. Tell 24 hour that you do and there is a discount on the setup and activation fees. Even as a consultant I signed up and paid 12 months up front and got the second year free. I think I paid $400 total for 2 years when I signed up.
I work out at the Texas Gym off Furguson and Oates. I get off at Doctors hospital at lunch and lift for 30 minutes. I got in there for 20 bucks for 8 months. Tell them you went to Bishop Lynch and you'll get a discount.