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post #1 of 16 (permalink) Old 10-07-2010, 01:10 PM Thread Starter
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Laxative?

Has anyone ever taken one of these to remove the plaque from your intestines or colon? I'm curious about this cause my gut is big and I don't have a lot of fat on it. I've heard of people doing this and loosing ALOT of inches but I was wondering if it is at all true?
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post #2 of 16 (permalink) Old 10-07-2010, 01:19 PM
Very Interesting
 
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From a Myth site:

Let's start with one of the more graphic detoxification methods, gruesomely pictured on web sites and in chain emails. It's a bowel cleansing pill, said to be herbal, which causes your intestines to produce long, rubbery, hideous looking snakes of bowel movements, which they call mucoid plaque. There are lots of pictures of these on the Internet, and sites that sell these pills are a great place to find them. Look at DrNatura.com, BlessedHerbs.com, and AriseAndShine.com, just for a start. Imagine how terrifying it would be to actually see one of those come out of your body. If you did, it would sure seem to confirm everything these web sites have warned about toxins building up in your intestines. But there's more to it. As it turns out, any professional con artist would be thoroughly impressed to learn the secrets of mucoid plaque (and, incidentally, the term mucoid plaque was invented by these sellers; there is no such actual medical condition). These pills consist mainly of bentonite, an absorbent, expanding clay similar to kitty litter. Combined with psyllium, used in the production of mucilage polymer, bentonite forms a rubbery cast of your intestines when taken internally, mixed of course with whatever else your body is excreting. Surprise, a giant rubbery snake of toxins in your toilet.

It's important to note that the only recorded instances of these "mucoid plaque" snakes in all of medical history come from the toilets of the victims of these cleansing pills. No gastroenterologist has ever encountered one in tens of millions of endoscopies, and no pathologist has ever found one during an autopsy. They do not exist until you take such a pill to form them. The pill creates the very condition that it claims to cure. And the results are so graphic and impressive that no victim would ever think to argue with the claim.

Victims, did I call them? Creating rubber casts of your bowels might be gross but I haven't seen that it's particularly dangerous, so why are they victims? A one month supply of these pills costs $88 from the web sites I mentioned. $88 for a few pennies worth of kitty litter in a pretty bottle promising herbal and organic cleansing. Yeah, they're victims.

It's already been widely reported that alternative practitioners who provide colon cleansing with tubes and liquids have killed a number of their customers by causing infections and perforated bowels, and for this reason the FDA has made it illegal to sell such equipment, except for use in medical colon cleansing to prepare for radiologic endoscopic examinations. There is no legally sold colon cleansing equipment approved for general well being or detoxification.

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post #3 of 16 (permalink) Old 10-07-2010, 01:26 PM
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But I need to detox mah asshole, Big Matt....

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post #4 of 16 (permalink) Old 10-07-2010, 01:37 PM
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assholes arent supposed to be dirty?

god bless.

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post #5 of 16 (permalink) Old 10-07-2010, 03:28 PM
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There are detox supplements you can buy, that are safe, legal, inexpensive, and they work. You shed unnecessary toxins from your digestive track slowly with the use of fiber and other supplements combined.

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post #6 of 16 (permalink) Old 10-07-2010, 03:52 PM
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But I need to detox mah asshole, Big Matt....
I've been laughing for two minutes straight.

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post #7 of 16 (permalink) Old 10-07-2010, 07:09 PM
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Drink a bunch of whiskey. I promise, the next day you'll be cleansing out that bunghole.
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post #8 of 16 (permalink) Old 10-07-2010, 07:37 PM
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Sounds like your shit is packed...
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post #9 of 16 (permalink) Old 10-07-2010, 07:49 PM
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Thumbs up

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Originally Posted by poopnut2 View Post
Drink a bunch of whiskey. I promise, the next day you'll be cleansing out that bunghole.
Yes sir, instant cleaning!

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post #10 of 16 (permalink) Old 10-07-2010, 09:03 PM
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try the 7 day detox kit from gnc. it works well and isnt some evasive laxative that will make you blow out your corn hole. eating rite helps too.

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post #11 of 16 (permalink) Old 10-08-2010, 06:08 AM
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Drink alot of pickle juice, you will need a bucket and a rag but you'll be ok!

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post #12 of 16 (permalink) Old 10-08-2010, 08:48 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bjtheman1 View Post
Drink alot of pickle juice, you will need a bucket and a rag but you'll be ok!
I LOL'd!

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post #13 of 16 (permalink) Old 10-11-2010, 04:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jnobles06 View Post
try the 7 day detox kit from gnc. it works well and isnt some evasive laxative that will make you blow out your corn hole. eating rite helps too.
Is it their gnc cleansing program?
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post #14 of 16 (permalink) Old 10-11-2010, 10:27 PM
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Is it their gnc cleansing program?
yeah that's the one i used.

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post #15 of 16 (permalink) Old 10-13-2010, 11:32 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bjtheman1 View Post
Drink alot of pickle juice, you will need a bucket and a rag but you'll be ok!
damn, I haven't laughed this hard in a long time.

I've heard that castor oil will do the equivalent of the Turbo Lax scene from Dumb & Dumber
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post #16 of 16 (permalink) Old 10-15-2010, 07:21 AM
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Drink a couple of big jugs of prune juice in less than an hour.....and stay home for a good 24 hours. It tastes best extremely cold and if you hold your nose and chug.
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