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post #1 of 157 (permalink) Old 12-29-2006, 09:14 AM Thread Starter
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2007 office weight loss contest

Everyone in our office is weighing in on January 2nd for a 3 month long contest to see who can drop the most weight. Total pecentage of body weight lost is the determining factor. Being the hustler that I am, I have various plans to sway the competition in my favor. I plan on drinking a few gallons of water on the 1st and the morning of the 2nd so I'm nice and water logged. I also haven't ran in weeks. I been eating all sorts of Christmas food. Cookies, pie, candy, donuts, etc, etc, etc. This weekend I'm going to do some creatine and some heavy lifting to get some water in the muscles as well. Right now I am so fat I am fucking miserable, I got on 36" waist jeans and they aren't feeling all that loose. I'm hoping I can weigh in at 240 lbs. or so, nice and blubbery. I even brought in a friend who has won two of these contests in the past at his office. He's my training consultant.

This should be fun. First prize is going to be ~$500 or so.
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post #2 of 157 (permalink) Old 12-29-2006, 09:59 AM
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how about lead weights strapped to the legs...
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post #3 of 157 (permalink) Old 12-29-2006, 10:47 AM
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The creatine is a great idea, start taking it now if possible, and drink, drink, drink. Also, definitely eat a huge meal the morning of the weigh in, you can drink alot of water too, but you'll likely have to pee some of it out before weigh-in. Be a real trooper, and shove a lead dildo up your ass.

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post #4 of 157 (permalink) Old 12-29-2006, 11:14 AM
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this is a good guide for last minute cutting for the final weigh-in. http://www.elitefts.com/documents/cutting_weight.htm
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post #5 of 157 (permalink) Old 12-29-2006, 11:46 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Raven
The creatine is a great idea, start taking it now if possible, and drink, drink, drink. Also, definitely eat a huge meal the morning of the weigh in, you can drink alot of water too, but you'll likely have to pee some of it out before weigh-in. Be a real trooper, and shove a lead dildo up your ass.
Jester's in!

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post #6 of 157 (permalink) Old 12-29-2006, 01:24 PM Thread Starter
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I just had the Wagon Boss lunch at Saltgrass. Damn I'm stuffed. I think the top of my thighs are starting to rub together. They might start a fire.
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post #7 of 157 (permalink) Old 12-29-2006, 04:19 PM
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I just had the Wagon Boss lunch at Saltgrass. Damn I'm stuffed. I think the top of my thighs are starting to rub together. They might start a fire.
Well thank god mens Corduroy pants aren't as popular as they were in the 1970's or you might have burst into flames at the Saltgrass LOL.
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post #8 of 157 (permalink) Old 12-29-2006, 05:03 PM Thread Starter
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Well thank god mens Corduroy pants aren't as popular as they were in the 1970's or you might have burst into flames at the Saltgrass LOL.
I'm gonna have to grease them up with lard by the time the 2nd gets here. I don't see how someone who is 100 lbs. overweight could even live with it.
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post #9 of 157 (permalink) Old 12-29-2006, 09:05 PM
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I'm gonna have to grease them up with lard by the time the 2nd gets here. I don't see how someone who is 100 lbs. overweight could even live with it.
It's for a good cause, the little asain guy who wins the eating contests would root for you, LOL.
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post #10 of 157 (permalink) Old 12-29-2006, 09:19 PM
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Recommendation: Bet on AL P winning the office contest. Short all* competitors.

*Caveat: Bulimic after-school special intern type chicks may require hedging to minimize exposure to an unwanted risk.
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post #11 of 157 (permalink) Old 12-29-2006, 10:40 PM
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Been there done that and I got a trip to Vegas! I didn't need to sway anything in my favor, most people just don't have the willpower to maintain a proper diet and workout routine. After 4 weeks most are still in since they drop a lot of water weight after 6 weeks they hit the wall hard, after 8 weeks they are all nearly back to their starting weight.
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post #12 of 157 (permalink) Old 12-30-2006, 02:07 PM
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sounds like good plan.

I always see how much i can gain at work in one day. They cant believe i gain 8lbs in one day but they dont see me pounding the water.

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post #13 of 157 (permalink) Old 12-30-2006, 03:04 PM
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Sounds like a great idea.... Easy money.. whatever..

Too bad I have lost 10lbs the last month or I might try to convince my office to do that. Another thing that would hurt me is that the guys all have memberships to the workout place next door to our building at work. Im gonna toss up that idea though... see what I can do. haha
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post #14 of 157 (permalink) Old 01-02-2007, 09:58 AM Thread Starter
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After eating like a god damn animal all last week and this weekend I weighed in at 230 lbs without shoes on. That was about all I could do too. I feel pretty bad too. i can't climb the stairs at my house without getting a little winded but that probably has to do with not working out for two weeks. I'll be on the treadmill tonight, that is for sure!!
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post #15 of 157 (permalink) Old 01-02-2007, 10:02 AM
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how long is the contest? 1 year?
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post #16 of 157 (permalink) Old 01-02-2007, 10:10 AM
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LMAO... only a few more pounds and you could work from home

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post #17 of 157 (permalink) Old 01-02-2007, 10:16 AM Thread Starter
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Constest is through March 31st.

LOL at the Mumu Homer. That is exactly what I feel like.
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post #18 of 157 (permalink) Old 01-02-2007, 10:33 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AL P
After eating like a god damn animal all last week and this weekend I weighed in at 230 lbs without shoes on. That was about all I could do too. I feel pretty bad too. i can't climb the stairs at my house without getting a little winded but that probably has to do with not working out for two weeks. I'll be on the treadmill tonight, that is for sure!!
LMAO.

I was going to suggest watching "Supersize Me" (or whatever that dvd was where the guy ate McDonald's for 30 days) and implementing his plan. I doubt I could follow it for more than 2-3 days without puking like he did when he at that double quarter pounder with cheese.

My 401K is now a 400K (was 301K)
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post #19 of 157 (permalink) Old 01-02-2007, 10:36 AM
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LMAO.

I was going to suggest watching "Supersize Me" (or whatever that dvd was where the guy ate McDonald's for 30 days) and implementing his plan. I doubt I could follow it for more than 2-3 days without puking like he did when he at that double quarter pounder with cheese.
That guy took 10 years off his life in 30 days.
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post #20 of 157 (permalink) Old 01-02-2007, 10:46 AM
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That guy took 10 years off his life in 30 days.
Your body is pretty efficient and malable. As soon as he got off the diet and return to a his very health diet (I think his wife was a nutrionist or something) his body gained those 10 years back.

The tests the doctor was performing in the movie are "snapshots in time." Once he got off it his tests return to pre-Supersize Me results.

But, the conclusion is still valid. Eat that shit at McDonalds and it will take years off your life.

My 401K is now a 400K (was 301K)
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post #21 of 157 (permalink) Old 01-02-2007, 10:54 AM
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Originally Posted by AL P
Constest is through March 31st.

LOL at the Mumu Homer. That is exactly what I feel like.

I "plumped" up to 215lbs ('bout 15% bodyfat) over the holidays and feel like a lard ass, I can't imagine having another 15lbs.

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post #22 of 157 (permalink) Old 01-02-2007, 02:57 PM Thread Starter
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LMAO.

I was going to suggest watching "Supersize Me" (or whatever that dvd was where the guy ate McDonald's for 30 days) and implementing his plan. I doubt I could follow it for more than 2-3 days without puking like he did when he at that double quarter pounder with cheese.
Watching the movie makes me feel ill. I can't imagine eating all that shit like he did. That's a lot of french fries.

I had a salad at Baker Bros. Deli with a couple of teaspoons of ranch on it for lunch and I feel a lot better already. I guess eating a big ball of grease for every meal will do that to you.
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post #23 of 157 (permalink) Old 01-02-2007, 03:26 PM
 
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You can do the Atkins Diet. You will shed a ton of fat in 1-2 weeks. I was 220lbs and in about a week and a half went down to 203. Its not that bad, you get used to it. A buddy of mine has been on it for about 3 years now. Not the same phase as you would be on, but he loves it. You can get all the info on it on the internet.

GOOD LUCK!
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post #24 of 157 (permalink) Old 01-02-2007, 03:52 PM
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Jiu jitsu Al. You get to work out and choke someone.
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post #25 of 157 (permalink) Old 01-02-2007, 03:54 PM
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Jiu jitsu Al. You get to work out and choke someone.

Bulimia Al. You can sit on your ass, and choke yourself.

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post #26 of 157 (permalink) Old 01-02-2007, 04:27 PM Thread Starter
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Actually I'm just going to jerk off a lot. That will be at least a 1000 calories a day...
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post #27 of 157 (permalink) Old 01-02-2007, 04:41 PM
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Good to see you are losing weight Uncle Al. Fatty.

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post #28 of 157 (permalink) Old 01-02-2007, 05:11 PM Thread Starter
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Good to see you are losing weight Uncle Al. Fatty.
Now listen here, Peter nibbler.........
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post #29 of 157 (permalink) Old 01-02-2007, 06:15 PM Thread Starter
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I just caused quite a little stir when we all stepped on the scales again for the hell of it. Everyone else had gained 3 lbs. today thanks to the usual eating and retaining of water. I got on the scale and was down to 227.6.

I think I got this thing in the bag. Suckers!!
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post #30 of 157 (permalink) Old 01-02-2007, 10:38 PM
 
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we have the same contest going on in our family. Winner gets $1,600. Weigh in again on April 1st.
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post #31 of 157 (permalink) Old 01-04-2007, 09:04 AM Thread Starter
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Just weighed in at 221.8 with shoes on. LMAO, I'm counting my money already.
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post #32 of 157 (permalink) Old 01-05-2007, 08:42 AM Thread Starter
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First official Friday weigh in of the contest and I tipped the scales at 219.0 lbs. I was called every name in the book. 2nd place has lost 3 lbs. with a starting weight of 194 lbs.
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post #33 of 157 (permalink) Old 01-05-2007, 09:35 AM
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First official Friday weigh in of the contest and I tipped the scales at 219.0 lbs. I was called every name in the book. 2nd place has lost 3 lbs. with a starting weight of 194 lbs.
LOL.

I piss my wife off like that all the time. I'll be sitting at 190 or so (lotta weight for me) and hydrate my ass off for preparation of some brick work the next day (run 5-6 miles, immediately bike 50-60, immediate run 3-4) that last 3-4 hours and a long slow run (2-3 hours, 12-18 miles) the next day.

I'll go to bed weight about 195 the night before. By the end of the two days I'll be back down to 182-184 (normal weight.)

My 401K is now a 400K (was 301K)
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post #34 of 157 (permalink) Old 01-05-2007, 10:43 AM Thread Starter
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LOL.

I piss my wife off like that all the time. I'll be sitting at 190 or so (lotta weight for me) and hydrate my ass off for preparation of some brick work the next day (run 5-6 miles, immediately bike 50-60, immediate run 3-4) that last 3-4 hours and a long slow run (2-3 hours, 12-18 miles) the next day.

I'll go to bed weight about 195 the night before. By the end of the two days I'll be back down to 182-184 (normal weight.)
I need to get a bike for next summer. That's something I'd like to take up.
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post #35 of 157 (permalink) Old 01-05-2007, 02:48 PM
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I need to get a bike for next summer. That's something I'd like to take up.
I like the bike (mountain or road.) Alot of my training is just "putting in the hours" and getting your body ready for hours on end of moving. Trying to run 4 or 5 hours puts you down for a couple of days. You can bike 4 or 5 hours a day without much reprecussion.

My 401K is now a 400K (was 301K)
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post #36 of 157 (permalink) Old 01-05-2007, 02:54 PM
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I like the bike (mountain or road.) Alot of my training is just "putting in the hours" and getting your body ready for hours on end of moving. Trying to run 4 or 5 hours puts you down for a couple of days. You can bike 4 or 5 hours a day without much reprecussion.

There are very few things that I enjoy doing for 4 or 5 hours straight, and it's not a bicycle that I'd be riding.

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post #37 of 157 (permalink) Old 01-05-2007, 03:18 PM
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There are very few things that I enjoy doing for 4 or 5 hours straight, and it's not a bicycle that I'd be riding.
hahahaha Like you have that kind of stamina!!
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post #38 of 157 (permalink) Old 01-05-2007, 03:20 PM Thread Starter
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hahahaha Like you have that kind of stamina!!
3 or 4 Jack and Cokes are all a man needs.
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post #39 of 157 (permalink) Old 01-05-2007, 03:23 PM
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3 or 4 Jack and Cokes are all a man needs.
You beat me to my retraction. I got to thinking about it and decided funny to me isn't probably funny to you guys ..... oh well. Hopefully people will take this with humor.

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post #40 of 157 (permalink) Old 01-05-2007, 03:42 PM
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hahahaha Like you have that kind of stamina!!

Viagara is a helluva drug.

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post #41 of 157 (permalink) Old 01-05-2007, 03:53 PM
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There are very few things that I enjoy doing for 4 or 5 hours straight, and it's not a bicycle that I'd be riding.
Yea, but does your boyfriend last 4 or 5 hours?

My 401K is now a 400K (was 301K)
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post #42 of 157 (permalink) Old 01-05-2007, 04:23 PM Thread Starter
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Viagara is a helluva drug.
That's the viagra knockoff you can get at Trader's Village, right?
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post #43 of 157 (permalink) Old 01-05-2007, 04:56 PM
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That's the viagra knockoff you can get at Trader's Village, right?

Yeah, the have it right next to the designer colognes.

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post #44 of 157 (permalink) Old 01-05-2007, 06:21 PM
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I got a friend to lose 60lbs in 3mos with proper diet, mild workout routine, and clen/T3/Thermorexin. He went from 5'10 235 to 175 in a little over 3mos. Has kept it off for 8mos. I limited him to 2000 kcals diet per day.
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post #45 of 157 (permalink) Old 01-11-2007, 09:37 AM Thread Starter
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Just weighed in at 216.8 lbs. this morning. I had to weigh in a day earlier than the standard Friday weigh in because I'm out of the office tomorrow.
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post #46 of 157 (permalink) Old 01-11-2007, 09:48 AM
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I got a friend to lose 60lbs in 3mos with proper diet, mild workout routine, and clen/T3/Thermorexin. He went from 5'10 235 to 175 in a little over 3mos. Has kept it off for 8mos. I limited him to 2000 kcals diet per day.
PST me the information you gave him and I will be at your beck and call. I hit 226 December 1st and I'm down to 219 right now and I am stuck. I was sick all last week which decimated my moral as I could not do anything but sit on my ass and sleep.

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post #47 of 157 (permalink) Old 01-11-2007, 09:57 AM
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Just weighed in at 216.8 lbs. this morning. I had to weigh in a day earlier than the standard Friday weigh in because I'm out of the office tomorrow.
FAT

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Originally Posted by The Raven
This is exactly why if I ever have a daughter, I'm going to teach her to swallow early on.

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post #48 of 157 (permalink) Old 01-11-2007, 10:06 AM Thread Starter
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post #49 of 157 (permalink) Old 01-11-2007, 10:46 AM
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FAT

Damn, I'm only 4lbs lighter than that.



How light are you planning on gettin Alan? I'm all about winning the contedt, but I dunno how much lean mass I could stand to lose...

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post #50 of 157 (permalink) Old 01-11-2007, 10:55 AM
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Damn, I'm only 4lbs lighter than that.



How light are you planning on gettin Alan? I'm all about winning the contedt, but I dunno how much lean mass I could stand to lose...
I was just joking. I just like being mean to Al Peter. I enjoy it.

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This is exactly why if I ever have a daughter, I'm going to teach her to swallow early on.

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