Really Need Big Time Help now...

Back N Black · 10-09-2002, 02:11 PM

a girl i know and i got to talking real heavy bout me and brittneys breakup.she was telling me to look at it from her perspective. Im not the only victim in the situation and that i should forgive and apologize and pray she does the same, time will heal our wounds. maybe this is a time to think and yall we be back together stronger than ever.

I think i have burnt the bridge and burnt it with her mother, who told her she is not allowed to talk to me

i want her back. Does anyone have any advice? im stuck

Lethal · 10-09-2002, 02:25 PM

I don't know the situation, but it's usually best to just forge ahead if you had problems with this Brittney. It can be a long road, but usually more rewarding.

The Punisher · 10-09-2002, 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by THE_RAM
a girl i know and i got to talking real heavy bout me and brittneys breakup.she was telling me to look at it from her perspective. Im not the only victim in the situation and that i should forgive and apologize and pray she does the same, time will heal our wounds. maybe this is a time to think and yall we be back together stronger than ever.

I think i have burnt the bridge and burnt it with her mother, who told her she is not allowed to talk to me i want her back. Does anyone have any advice? im stuck

see, I told you that you were not ready to say no

Back N Black · 10-09-2002, 02:33 PM

well i truly was ready lance but when she said this it got me thinking.

"Howler

" whatcha mean dude? im confused?

MoonDog · 10-09-2002, 02:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by THE_RAM
a girl i know and i got to talking real heavy bout me and brittneys breakup.she was telling me to look at it from her perspective. Im not the only victim in the situation and that i should forgive and apologize and pray she does the same, time will heal our wounds. maybe this is a time to think and yall we be back together stronger than ever.

I think i have burnt the bridge and burnt it with her mother, who told her she is not allowed to talk to me i want her back. Does anyone have any advice? im stuck

It is always best to forgive and apologize and pray, you should do this. But, that does not mean that she will do the same and everything will be OK from now on. Do what you know is right and leave the rest up to God. If you two are ment to be together He will make away. I hope it all works for you.

Lethal · 10-09-2002, 02:45 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by THE_RAM
well i truly was ready lance but when she said this it got me thinking.

"Howler" whatcha mean dude? im confused?

Saying that you should just leave her alone, and forge on with your own life. Don't let someone become the center of your life, this will lead to ruin (I know). Only God can be the center. Focus on him, and things will fall into place.

Monsoon X · 10-09-2002, 02:46 PM

I think it's time to move on. You're 18 man! Don't you want a new woman? hahahahahahahaha

Back N Black · 10-09-2002, 02:51 PM

JC, i love her dude. nothing changes that. and i want her back

Jeremy i understand ya now, but its hard

Lethal · 10-09-2002, 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by THE_RAM
JC, i love her dude. nothing changes that. and i want her back

Jeremy i understand ya now, but its hard

I know it's hard. But luckily you are still young, and shouldn't have to worry about a relationship for a long time. I'll be 29 in 2 months, and am still single.

Back N Black · 10-09-2002, 03:20 PM

thats the problem, I love her. Without her im down. Plus i hate being single, i want someone to hold,smell that sweet perfume, see that pretty smile and watch all the cute things she does. Brittney did that to me

This is convo between me and Jessica

***: Well I think you're being too harsh.
***: And I think you're worrying about something you can't change.
***: I understand and realize it's hard to get over someone you love because you'll always always always always love them.
***: Regardless of what happened between you two, you have to forgive her, in order to heal yourself.
***: THere is no reason for you to re analyze the e-mail.
***: You need to stop worrying about it.
***: And if you don't believe her that that was just her friend now, you never will.
***: Therefore there will be a lack of trust in any relationship you try to re-establish with her.
***: And you hurt her.
me: but she lied!
***: I don't know what you said to her.
***: But you did.
***: Kyle, I understand she lied. But you can't hold that against her forever. It's not right.
***: And if you can't forgive her, then you don't deserve her.
me: im not holding it against, her i want to rebuild but she doesnt
***: You have to think about her too
***: Not just yourself.
***: She understands that you hurt.
***: Now understand that she hurts just as much as you do.
***: not any more not any less.
me: jessica i loved her wit hall i have and i wish to have her back but i guess its not meant to be
me: like the ole saying goes "They say if you love somebody you gotta set them free, and if they dont come back again then its meant to be"
***: I'm sure the same love was reciprocated by her, but you hurt her deep also.
***: You may not have lied, but you must have said some harsh things to her.
***: and you should apologize for that.
me: i was actually the calm one during the storm
***: Stop using I
***: think about her Kyle.
***: Brittney
me: i am
me: but im stating she is the one who went off
***: Evidently she had a reason to.
***: didn't you go off on her.
me: i kept calm through the storm
***: It doesn't matter.
***: If I were her i'd be mad too
***: and hurt.
me: at first yea i was mad and i said few choice words and i did apologize
me: but nothing changes what she did to me@!
***: what about what you did to her.
me: i just reacted like any othe guy would when they see the email, i got curious and started asking questions and when i never got answers from her i got angry but i calmed down
***: i'm not askign about you.
***: Kyle.
***: I hate to say this.
***: and it's probably going to piss you off
***: But you're being selfish in the whole ordeal.
***: You are just thinking about your emotions and your pains.
me: yea irealize i hurt her
***: It doesn't seem like you are considering her at all.
me: but think of what she did to me
me: 10 mos jessica 10 mos thats almost a yr!
me: she broke my heart horribly!
***: you broke hers too.l
***: you're not the only victim kyle
me: i know jessica
***: stop thinking you are.
me: i want her back so bad i cant even see straight but i dont know what to do, and i know there is no way for us to get back together due to this because trust will never be there
***: You know the problem.
***: if there is a way.
***: try to fix it.
***: but you have to stop thinking about yourself and about her too
me: ive tried
me: and you saw it in the convo but there is no room for amends
***: What do you expect?
***: Her wound is still open
***: you need to give her time to heal
me: im the one who got killed!
***: KYLE
***: Forget it.
***: You're going to think you're the only victim.
***: Until you realize you weren't.
***: you don't deserve her.
me: then i dont deserve anyone else then so why even bother?
***: I didn't say that.
***: You just don't deserve her.
***: And she's right. You ended it.
***: So maybe you deserve this pain
***: and if you truly did say 'i didn't lose anything.'
***: then that's even worse.
me: no she told me i lost the best thing i ever had
me: when she is the one who lied to me
***: stop it kyle.
***: she lied to you
***: okay
***: it happens.
***: You're a big boy.
***: You need to stop acting immature
***: and forgive her.
***: and realiz ethere is so much more to it.
***: why did she lie to you
***: did you ever think about that?
me: ive asked her and she wouldnt tell me
painted_dreamer03: Maybe she thinks you don't deserve an answer.
***: If you're gong to try and make her feel guilty and say rude things to her.
***: why should she even talk to you?
me: well from a females point of view what should i do?
***: Stop being selfish, think about HER feelings, what YOU did to her, reasons why she might have lied, stop thinking 'oooh i'm the victim boo hoo.'
***: Because that attitude has to go
***: you should forgive her.
***: You'll never solve anything.
***: so you can heal.
***: and so she can heal
***: I guaruntee she'll never be better if you don't forgive her.
me: but what about rebuilding? she lied once, but what about again?
***: At this point, don't look towards a relationship.
***: And trying to overcome it.
***: Just focus on both of you getting over it.
me: well,whats to come after that?
***: you don't always know what the outcome will be.
***: you have to be patient
***: You'll have to wait and just find out

***: Suck it up. You can handle it

me: but jessica i want her back but i think i have burnt the bridge with her and her mom, and i think my parents dont want me to go back to her fearing another heartbreak

The Punisher · 10-09-2002, 03:58 PM

My best advice.... If she really loves you she'll call you back. She was the one who looked shady on the whole deal. Plus she lied to you and said she didnt know who the guy was when she really did know him. I dont think you owe her anything except to go out and have a good time with other girls and friends. Now if she comes back and apologizes and tells you the honest truth of what happened, relationships take truth, honesty and forgiveness, therefore I would then forgive her if you still love her. As for calling her back and begging to get back together. Forget it. You cant make someone love you and only time will tell if she really loves you and if ya'll are meant to be together. Its hard to withdrawal out of a relationship especially when you get so use to it. But sometimes you just have to have courage to do stick it out. Your pain will pass.....

Back N Black · 10-09-2002, 04:03 PM

mikeb · 10-09-2002, 04:26 PM

Here are a few things to think about.

1. You are only 18 (no disrespect meant) and don't have
enough life experience to form a perspective yet. This leads
to.....

2. A belief that Brittany is the best girl you will ever meet
and that there is no one else in the world that can make
you feel like she makes you feel.

3. You are stuck in analysis paralysis. You're thinking
about it too much while still being very emotional.

You desperately need to take a week off and go somewhere;
you need to allow some time to pass to allow your
feelings to sort themselves out. Find some way
to get away, and if you can't then find something new
to get into - go take some dance classes (a good way
to meet people BTW) or something that's totally new
and different. This will keep you busy and not allow
you time to sit and go over it again and again.

There _are_ other fish in the sea. Find someone that
puts you in the center of her world; a religious person
that shares your morals and values. But don't be in
a hurry - you've got plenty of time. Just pray about
it and let God work it out for you.

Back N Black · 10-09-2002, 04:39 PM

well i dont know what to do

i love her so much. i would give anything to have her back in my arms. she is so much to me and im nothing with out her.i dont know why god picked me! he gave me a situation and i screwed it up.

The Punisher · 10-09-2002, 04:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by THE_RAM
well i dont know what to do i love her so much. i would give anything to have her back in my arms. she is so much to me and im nothing with out her.i dont know why god picked me! he gave me a situation and i screwed it up.

How did you screw it up? She is the one that lied to you

Back N Black · 10-09-2002, 04:54 PM

read the convo closely.i thought impulsive instead of thinking it out

The Punisher · 10-09-2002, 05:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by THE_RAM
read the convo closely.i thought impulsive instead of thinking it out

Still dont understand? You kept calm you said... That was the right thing to do.. What is it that you feel so guilty about? She lied and you asked her about it and she got mad.... Did something esle go on we dont know? Just curious?

Back N Black · 10-09-2002, 05:12 PM

everything is on the table

The Punisher · 10-09-2002, 05:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by THE_RAM
everything is on the table

well, not really, what rude things did you say to her?

10-09-2002, 02:11 PM	#1
Back N Black Behind Blue Eyes.. Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Glenn Heights Posts: 6,730	Really Need Big Time Help now... a girl i know and i got to talking real heavy bout me and brittneys breakup.she was telling me to look at it from her perspective. Im not the only victim in the situation and that i should forgive and apologize and pray she does the same, time will heal our wounds. maybe this is a time to think and yall we be back together stronger than ever. I think i have burnt the bridge and burnt it with her mother, who told her she is not allowed to talk to me i want her back. Does anyone have any advice? im stuck __________________ CFFL Looking forward to the road that lies ahead...We enjoy reflecting upon past roads traveled, reliving our adventures through photographs taken and stories penned...Though, it's that next road that drives us onward...that next journey...And who knows where it'll lead?

10-09-2002, 02:25 PM	#2
Lethal Ice Ice maybe..... Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Hitting vans Posts: 3,293	I don't know the situation, but it's usually best to just forge ahead if you had problems with this Brittney. It can be a long road, but usually more rewarding. __________________ R.I.P. 05/24/03 Jeremy "Lethal" Snow

10-09-2002, 02:33 PM	#4
Back N Black Behind Blue Eyes.. Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Glenn Heights Posts: 6,730	well i truly was ready lance but when she said this it got me thinking. "Howler" whatcha mean dude? im confused? __________________ CFFL Looking forward to the road that lies ahead...We enjoy reflecting upon past roads traveled, reliving our adventures through photographs taken and stories penned...Though, it's that next road that drives us onward...that next journey...And who knows where it'll lead?

10-09-2002, 02:46 PM	#7
Monsoon X Crash Test Dummy Join Date: Apr 2000 Location: never never land Posts: 22,031	I think it's time to move on. You're 18 man! Don't you want a new woman? hahahahahahahaha __________________ ______________________________ I'm just a poor negro

10-09-2002, 02:51 PM	#8
Back N Black Behind Blue Eyes.. Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Glenn Heights Posts: 6,730	JC, i love her dude. nothing changes that. and i want her back Jeremy i understand ya now, but its hard __________________ CFFL Looking forward to the road that lies ahead...We enjoy reflecting upon past roads traveled, reliving our adventures through photographs taken and stories penned...Though, it's that next road that drives us onward...that next journey...And who knows where it'll lead?

10-09-2002, 03:20 PM	#10
Back N Black Behind Blue Eyes.. Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Glenn Heights Posts: 6,730	thats the problem, I love her. Without her im down. Plus i hate being single, i want someone to hold,smell that sweet perfume, see that pretty smile and watch all the cute things she does. Brittney did that to me This is convo between me and Jessica *: Well I think you're being too harsh. : And I think you're worrying about something you can't change. : I understand and realize it's hard to get over someone you love because you'll always always always always love them. : Regardless of what happened between you two, you have to forgive her, in order to heal yourself. : THere is no reason for you to re analyze the e-mail. : You need to stop worrying about it. : And if you don't believe her that that was just her friend now, you never will. : Therefore there will be a lack of trust in any relationship you try to re-establish with her. : And you hurt her. me: but she lied! : I don't know what you said to her. : But you did. : Kyle, I understand she lied. But you can't hold that against her forever. It's not right. : And if you can't forgive her, then you don't deserve her. me: im not holding it against, her i want to rebuild but she doesnt : You have to think about her too : Not just yourself. : She understands that you hurt. : Now understand that she hurts just as much as you do. : not any more not any less. me: jessica i loved her wit hall i have and i wish to have her back but i guess its not meant to be me: like the ole saying goes "They say if you love somebody you gotta set them free, and if they dont come back again then its meant to be" : I'm sure the same love was reciprocated by her, but you hurt her deep also. : You may not have lied, but you must have said some harsh things to her. : and you should apologize for that. me: i was actually the calm one during the storm : Stop using I : think about her Kyle. : Brittney me: i am me: but im stating she is the one who went off : Evidently she had a reason to. : didn't you go off on her. me: i kept calm through the storm : It doesn't matter. : If I were her i'd be mad too : and hurt. me: at first yea i was mad and i said few choice words and i did apologize me: but nothing changes what she did to me@! : what about what you did to her. me: i just reacted like any othe guy would when they see the email, i got curious and started asking questions and when i never got answers from her i got angry but i calmed down : i'm not askign about you. : Kyle. : I hate to say this. : and it's probably going to piss you off : But you're being selfish in the whole ordeal. : You are just thinking about your emotions and your pains. me: yea irealize i hurt her : It doesn't seem like you are considering her at all. me: but think of what she did to me me: 10 mos jessica 10 mos thats almost a yr! me: she broke my heart horribly! : you broke hers too.l : you're not the only victim kyle me: i know jessica : stop thinking you are. me: i want her back so bad i cant even see straight but i dont know what to do, and i know there is no way for us to get back together due to this because trust will never be there : You know the problem. : if there is a way. : try to fix it. : but you have to stop thinking about yourself and about her too me: ive tried me: and you saw it in the convo but there is no room for amends : What do you expect? : Her wound is still open : you need to give her time to heal me: im the one who got killed! : KYLE : Forget it. : You're going to think you're the only victim. : Until you realize you weren't. : you don't deserve her. me: then i dont deserve anyone else then so why even bother? : I didn't say that. : You just don't deserve her. : And she's right. You ended it. : So maybe you deserve this pain : and if you truly did say 'i didn't lose anything.' : then that's even worse. me: no she told me i lost the best thing i ever had me: when she is the one who lied to me : stop it kyle. : she lied to you : okay : it happens. : You're a big boy. : You need to stop acting immature : and forgive her. : and realiz ethere is so much more to it. : why did she lie to you : did you ever think about that? me: ive asked her and she wouldnt tell me painted_dreamer03: Maybe she thinks you don't deserve an answer. : If you're gong to try and make her feel guilty and say rude things to her. : why should she even talk to you? me: well from a females point of view what should i do? : Stop being selfish, think about HER feelings, what YOU did to her, reasons why she might have lied, stop thinking 'oooh i'm the victim boo hoo.' : Because that attitude has to go : you should forgive her. : You'll never solve anything. : so you can heal. : and so she can heal : I guaruntee she'll never be better if you don't forgive her. me: but what about rebuilding? she lied once, but what about again? : At this point, don't look towards a relationship. : And trying to overcome it. : Just focus on both of you getting over it. me: well,whats to come after that? : you don't always know what the outcome will be. : you have to be patient : You'll have to wait and just find out : Suck it up. You can handle it me: but jessica i want her back but i think i have burnt the bridge with her and her mom, and i think my parents dont want me to go back to her fearing another heartbreak __________________ CFFL* Looking forward to the road that lies ahead...We enjoy reflecting upon past roads traveled, reliving our adventures through photographs taken and stories penned...Though, it's that next road that drives us onward...that next journey...And who knows where it'll lead?

10-09-2002, 03:58 PM	#11
The Punisher Boost is Good Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: With Weapons of Mass Instruction Posts: 3,130	My best advice.... If she really loves you she'll call you back. She was the one who looked shady on the whole deal. Plus she lied to you and said she didnt know who the guy was when she really did know him. I dont think you owe her anything except to go out and have a good time with other girls and friends. Now if she comes back and apologizes and tells you the honest truth of what happened, relationships take truth, honesty and forgiveness, therefore I would then forgive her if you still love her. As for calling her back and begging to get back together. Forget it. You cant make someone love you and only time will tell if she really loves you and if ya'll are meant to be together. Its hard to withdrawal out of a relationship especially when you get so use to it. But sometimes you just have to have courage to do stick it out. Your pain will pass..... __________________ Stand by or fight while Obama wages his war against capitalism...

10-09-2002, 04:03 PM	#12
Back N Black Behind Blue Eyes.. Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Glenn Heights Posts: 6,730	__________________ CFFL Looking forward to the road that lies ahead...We enjoy reflecting upon past roads traveled, reliving our adventures through photographs taken and stories penned...Though, it's that next road that drives us onward...that next journey...And who knows where it'll lead?

10-09-2002, 04:26 PM	#13
mikeb IA2 Join Date: Mar 2001 Posts: 21,608	Here are a few things to think about. 1. You are only 18 (no disrespect meant) and don't have enough life experience to form a perspective yet. This leads to..... 2. A belief that Brittany is the best girl you will ever meet and that there is no one else in the world that can make you feel like she makes you feel. 3. You are stuck in analysis paralysis. You're thinking about it too much while still being very emotional. You desperately need to take a week off and go somewhere; you need to allow some time to pass to allow your feelings to sort themselves out. Find some way to get away, and if you can't then find something new to get into - go take some dance classes (a good way to meet people BTW) or something that's totally new and different. This will keep you busy and not allow you time to sit and go over it again and again. There _are_ other fish in the sea. Find someone that puts you in the center of her world; a religious person that shares your morals and values. But don't be in a hurry - you've got plenty of time. Just pray about it and let God work it out for you.

10-09-2002, 04:39 PM	#14
Back N Black Behind Blue Eyes.. Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Glenn Heights Posts: 6,730	well i dont know what to do i love her so much. i would give anything to have her back in my arms. she is so much to me and im nothing with out her.i dont know why god picked me! he gave me a situation and i screwed it up. __________________ CFFL Looking forward to the road that lies ahead...We enjoy reflecting upon past roads traveled, reliving our adventures through photographs taken and stories penned...Though, it's that next road that drives us onward...that next journey...And who knows where it'll lead?

10-09-2002, 04:54 PM	#16
Back N Black Behind Blue Eyes.. Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Glenn Heights Posts: 6,730	read the convo closely.i thought impulsive instead of thinking it out __________________ CFFL Looking forward to the road that lies ahead...We enjoy reflecting upon past roads traveled, reliving our adventures through photographs taken and stories penned...Though, it's that next road that drives us onward...that next journey...And who knows where it'll lead?

10-09-2002, 05:12 PM	#18
Back N Black Behind Blue Eyes.. Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Glenn Heights Posts: 6,730	everything is on the table __________________ CFFL Looking forward to the road that lies ahead...We enjoy reflecting upon past roads traveled, reliving our adventures through photographs taken and stories penned...Though, it's that next road that drives us onward...that next journey...And who knows where it'll lead?

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