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Unread 09-08-2006, 11:45 AM   #1
Osiris
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Exclamation 10 Reason Why Johnny Cash Owns Chuck Norris

Reason 1.
Only one man who has ever lived has been bad enough to be called “The Man In Black” and it wasn’t Chuck Norris

Reason 2.
Johnny didn’t have to fight to be a bad ass. He just had to pick up a beer bottle and a guitar.

Reason 3.
Norris made a bunch of films where he killed folks. Johnny Cash went to Folsom Prison and did a concert. You tell me which one takes more balls.

Reason 4.
Chuck wasn’t the first of his kind to kick ass. Johnny was the first rock star to set something on fire. While most artists only set their hotel rooms on fire, Johnny took it one step further and burned down half a national forest.

Reason 5.
When Chuck was five, he was a normal five year old. Johnny had already earned man points by working in his dad’s cotton fields. That is a true bad ass. By the time he was six, Cash did more hard work than most men do in their whole life.

Reason 6.
Chuck never got stabbed in the back by a woman. Johnny never stopped bleeding. Chuck may have gotten punched a few times, but Johnny knew what real pain was.

Reason 7.
Chuck is a republican. Johnny was close with every president except for GWB. It was said he just didn’t trust that son of a bitch. When Johnny didn’t trust someone, you just knew something foul was going on.

Reason 8.
Johnny was invited to play the at White House in 1972 for Richard Nixon. He was given a list of politically correct songs to sing. He instead metaphorically threw up his middle finger at the establishment, and sang a set full of left leaning, politically charged tunes. Chuck Norris has never told the president to fuck off in his own house.

Reason 9.
Chuck Norris made a lot of crappy movies. Johnny Cash never touched anything that didn’t turn to gold. In the 80’s, he made a song called “Chicken in Black” to get himself out of a record deal. Even that became popular.

Reason 10.
Johnny is the only man in history to decline painkillers after a double bypass heart surgery. He knew he liked drugs too god damn much and wouldn’t stop. That shows power over an addiction previously not seen before. Kicking a ninja's ass is easy compared to kicking a drug's ass.
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Unread 09-08-2006, 11:46 AM   #2
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Chuck never shot a man in Reno...just to watch him die
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Unread 09-08-2006, 11:48 AM   #3
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I didn't laugh.
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Unread 09-08-2006, 11:49 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 90StangLX5.0
I didn't laugh.
It wasn't funny.
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Unread 09-08-2006, 11:50 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 90StangLX5.0
I didn't laugh.
Prollie because you are one of the ass clowns that think this Chuck Norris shit is funny.
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Unread 09-08-2006, 11:52 AM   #6
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Regardless if the Chuck quotes are funny or not, he'd still shove that guitar up Johnny Cash's ass.
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Unread 09-08-2006, 11:52 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NaSSty Nate
Prollie because you are one of the ass clowns that think this Chuck Norris shit is funny.
because it is
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Unread 09-08-2006, 11:53 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NaSSty Nate
Prollie because you are one of the ass clowns that think this Chuck Norris shit is funny.
I am not an ass clown and most of that Chuck Norris shit is retarded.
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Unread 09-08-2006, 11:54 AM   #9
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Neither Cash nor Norris are/were badasses, but good reading anyway.
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Unread 09-08-2006, 11:55 AM   #10
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I dont even know how you could compare the two.
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Unread 09-08-2006, 01:22 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Denny
Neither Cash nor Norris are/were badasses, but good reading anyway.
Cash not a badass?

After all he overcame in his life & his continuing "distaste" for the whole Nashville thing, I think i would have to disagree with that. Hell, most people don't stand behind their own conviction through out one stick & ball season. J Cash made a life out of upholding his beliefs

just my .02
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Unread 09-08-2006, 01:27 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fitzwell
Cash not a badass?

After all he overcame in his life & his continuing "distaste" for the whole Nashville thing, I think i would have to disagree with that. Hell, most people don't stand behind their own conviction through out one stick & ball season. J Cash made a life out of upholding his beliefs

just my .02
He just made it around his own fuck-ups and was a successful music artist. I love his music, but a badass? No he wasn't.
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Unread 09-08-2006, 01:36 PM   #13
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ok
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Unread 09-08-2006, 01:46 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mikecobra95
Regardless if the Chuck quotes are funny or not, he'd still shove that guitar up Johnny Cash's ass.
and then chuck norris prolly would have been killed by a fuckin huge mob. no one really cares about chuck norris lol.

i dont really think cash was too much of "a badass," he was just badass.
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Unread 09-08-2006, 02:09 PM   #15
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Who made more money and pulled more wool? Chuck has a few years left but he isn't passing the man in black anytime soon.
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Unread 09-10-2006, 04:41 AM   #16
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uh...did chuck and johnny not like each other or something?
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Unread 09-12-2006, 08:29 AM   #17
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gay.
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Unread 09-12-2006, 10:39 AM   #18
Osiris
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This wasn't a joke That's why I didn't put it here originally.
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Unread 09-14-2006, 10:32 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Denny
He just made it around his own fuck-ups and was a successful music artist. I love his music, but a badass? No he wasn't.

Agreed 100%, people who praise someone because of their fuckups are just as "fucked up!"

I'm not and never was impressed with johnny cash.
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