|
|
11-01-2003, 09:47 PM
|
#1 |
|
Time Served
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Irving Tx
Posts: 465
|
need help saving my marriage please
Does any one have any advice. She wants a divorce and I want to save it.
__________________
2001 Mustang GT 
|
|
|
|
11-01-2003, 09:51 PM
|
#2 |
|
Professional Slacker
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Ft. Worth, TX
Posts: 5,846
|
more info needed im sure.... main question is... Why does she want a divorce?
|
|
|
|
|
11-01-2003, 09:57 PM
|
#3 |
|
Time Served
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Irving Tx
Posts: 465
|
I think she is upset about our money issues and that I was going out all the time with the guys in the past. She was also talking to someone behind my back and I got pissed off at that and she kicked me out. Now I am living with my parents for now. Also she does not want to go to marriage councling. I have three kids and a house we just bought about 6 months ago. I dont want it over, I want to save what we have and could have in the futher.
Last edited by Z4 Mustang; 11-01-2003 at 10:00 PM. |
|
|
|
|
11-01-2003, 10:08 PM
|
#4 |
|
Redneck
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Anti-Newbie
Posts: 11,474
|
if she wants out, let her. Keeping her in a marriage that she doesn't want will just make both of your lives a living hell.
|
|
|
|
|
11-01-2003, 10:11 PM
|
#5 |
|
Punk Ass Newbie
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Aubrey, TX
Posts: 4,213
|
Divorce isn't going to help the money issues for sure. Maybe some of the ladies on the board will have some good ideas.
Write her a heart felt letter, candy, flowers....beg! Sorry about your situation....it sucks.
__________________
Chuck 2001 Black Bullitt 2009 Black JK Unlimited X, M6, 35's 2000 Black F-150 www.imboc.com Rob (Tweakd) Memorial 3/13/05 |
|
|
|
|
11-01-2003, 10:16 PM
|
#6 | |
|
Lifer
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: McKinney
Posts: 2,565
|
Quote:
|
|
|
|
|
|
11-01-2003, 10:23 PM
|
#7 | |
|
Punk Ass Newbie
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Aubrey, TX
Posts: 4,213
|
Quote:
__________________
Chuck 2001 Black Bullitt 2009 Black JK Unlimited X, M6, 35's 2000 Black F-150 www.imboc.com Rob (Tweakd) Memorial 3/13/05 |
|
|
|
|
|
11-01-2003, 10:26 PM
|
#8 | |
|
Time Served
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Arlington
Posts: 459
|
Quote:
|
|
|
|
|
|
11-01-2003, 10:36 PM
|
#9 | |
|
Yes I'm...
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: N Ft Worth
Posts: 3,560
|
Quote:
Either way it sounds from the info you've given that she is putting her own needs before the family's which is a no-no. Especially if these are both of your kids...she really ought to give counseling a try. Why is she upset about your money issues? Just that you don't make enough? Or have you been squandering it?
__________________
'98 Camaro SS: Incon twin turbo. Sold  '99 Camaro SS: Heads/cam/bolt-ons. Sold. '91 Camaro RS: Stock. 2010 Camaro SS: Hell yes. 
|
|
|
|
|
|
11-01-2003, 10:59 PM
|
#10 | |
|
¯\(º_o)/¯
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Las Colinas
Posts: 25,384
|
Quote:
 What you ( Z4 Mustang ) need to do is get your shit straight instead of fucking around, you have 3 kids and you are going out with your buddies? Get a clue man, you'll have to own up and prove yourself that you can function as a man instead of a pre adult college kid. |
|
|
|
|
|
11-01-2003, 11:09 PM
|
#11 | ||
|
Lifer
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Terrell
Posts: 2,975
|
Quote:
Quote:
Hell I am married, have a 4 year old, and a 6 month old. If I didn't get to go out without the family everyonce in a while I'd go nuts. Sometimes it's nice to go out and do your own thing. Ofcourse you also need to let her do it sometimes too, ya know go out with the girls. The first thing he needs to do is find out what the main problem is. He thinks she is mad about all that, he doesn't know. She may not even be mad about any of that stuff, but like statistics show it's probably money, the root of more divorces today. Z4 you need to find the real problem she is having with your marriage, and work from there. It may mean that you have to give up going out without the family for awhile, or some other things you like to do, but if you really want to save the marriage I am sure that won't matter to you. Bob Last edited by bobs94formula; 11-01-2003 at 11:12 PM. |
||
|
|
|
|
11-02-2003, 12:48 AM
|
#12 | |
|
Lifer
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Fort Worth
Posts: 12,412
|
Quote:
__________________
One Big Ass Mistake America If you like the DMV and the Post Office, you will love Obamacare! |
|
|
|
|
|
11-02-2003, 12:54 AM
|
#13 |
|
Playa from tha Himalayas
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Garland
Posts: 1,167
|
wow!
 marriage advice on dfwstangs. I've officially seen everything! Anyway, I don't have any advice but good luck! but if my woman was talkin to someone behind my back, she'd be the one gettin kicked out tha house!
__________________
|
|
|
|
|
11-02-2003, 01:42 AM
|
#14 |
|
Lifer
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Bonestockville
Posts: 2,712
|
Like posted in previous replies just end it. One person can not make a marriage work. It takes both partners if she want's out as painfull as it is you should walk. imho
|
|
|
|
|
11-02-2003, 01:51 AM
|
#15 |
|
Time Served
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: D/FW
Posts: 633
|
I sure as hell wouldn't have let her kick me out of MY house! By leaving your admitting some kind of guilt or you need to grow a pair. If you were out chasing tail then you don't have a leg to stand on......you reap what you sew.
|
|
|
|
|
11-02-2003, 02:16 AM
|
#16 |
|
Time Served
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Irving Tx
Posts: 465
|
I was not chaseing tail and never have, I left cause I did not want my kids to see mommy and daddy fight. There are plenty of reason to stay toghter and the fact that I love her more than anything in the world is the biggest one. All the kids are mine and the only thing I did when out with the guys was work on our cars or go to the races. I have never cheated on her and will not untill we are divorced and I dont even know who long it will be after that before I even think about being with another woman. At frist I went out all the time and for the last yr or so maybe once a week. I was working all the time and never home so it was like the same thing.
__________________
2001 Mustang GT
|
|
|
|
|
11-02-2003, 02:53 AM
|
#17 |
|
Time Served
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: D/FW
Posts: 633
|
In my personal opinon it's better to fight temporarily and wade thru the problems than to leave the kids w/o a father figure.
|
|
|
|
|
11-02-2003, 03:17 AM
|
#18 |
|
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
wtf is wrong with being married and going out with friends, and having a good time...i do it all the time
 dude if she wants out, let her ass go and promise yourself you will be a good father and thats all that matters...if you convince her to stay now, more than likely she will think of leaving again soon, are you prepared to beg her to be your wife every few months? if you have to convince her to stay, trust me bro she has already made up her mind... |
|
|
|
11-02-2003, 03:43 AM
|
#19 | |
|
1-8-4-3-6-5-7-2 f0 lyfe!
Join Date: May 2000
Location: under my junk
Posts: 6,046
|
Re: need help saving my marriage please
Quote:
Good luck
__________________
"When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt |
|
|
|
|
|
11-02-2003, 08:26 AM
|
#20 |
|
Man of Steel
Join Date: Mar 2000
Posts: 31,151
|
Whatever you do, don't listen to the whiney pussy boys on here. Some of these clowns are lucky to even have a woman that isn't blind. Negotiating for them includes crying, begging, licking shoes, taking all the blame, etc... It's like a Lifetime channel talk show where the woman can do no wrong....
|
|
|
|
|
11-02-2003, 08:47 AM
|
#21 | |
|
Beer Swillin' Redneck
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Your Mom's House
Posts: 1,373
|
Quote:
If you want it to work, get professional help. Even if she won't go, you can go by yourself. You might learn something that will help you save the relationship. If nothing else it beats sitting on your arse and asking for help on the internet. Besides, in the eyes of a divorce court it looks like you tried to make it work. If it were me and I suspected another man....I would have a P.I. tail her and see for sure if that is the case. If he finds anything, then you get a better idea of why the divorce. It can go towards proving she is an unfit mother and an adultress. Wouldn't it be some shit to subpoena her boyfriend to your divorce trial. It sounds like you are in a tough spot, I wish you the best of luck and hope it all turns out for the best for you.
__________________
"I have taken more out of alcohol than it has taken out of me." "If not, by age 20, you are a liberal, then you have no heart. If not, by age 30, you are a conservative, then you have no brain. |
|
|
|
|
|
11-02-2003, 09:00 AM
|
#22 |
|
The Franchise
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Mckinney
Posts: 1,090
|
i have to agree with fred, i ve been through the same shit your going through..... just let her leave but fight for custody of your kids because the kids are the important thing
|
|
|
|
|
11-02-2003, 09:06 AM
|
#23 |
|
学生
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: The weapon is only as good as the person wielding it.
Posts: 13,306
|
Of all places you could have gone to ask for advice, you chose here?! This is the LAST place you should have even thought of to do such a thing. I can't believe I'm gonna "say" this but I'm gonna have to agree with AL P on this. First thing you need to do is recover your spine and put it back in place. Secondly, think about your kids and do what is best for them. As a parent you lost the privlidge to think about yourself and your wife's relationship first. Also, Chris was exactly right- you cannot force someone to be in a relationship they do not want to be in, but you and her do have a remaining bond which is parents. Don't fuck up your kids because the marriage went sour because you both were being selfish.
|
|
|
|
|
11-02-2003, 10:06 AM
|
#24 |
|
Yeah, whatever....
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: In the backyard grilling up a steak
Posts: 5,096
|
First off, you came to the wrong place. Instead of asking people on a message board you should be asking her. My advice is to get your butt off the internet and start spending time with her. I take my wife everywhere I go unless she states she doen't want to go. Your wife has to come first and not your buddies. After all, your spouse is supposed to be your best friend.
Second, you stated that she was talking to someone behind your back, can I assume that it was another guy? If so did you think that maybe she is cheating on you and is just looking for a way out? Like MOUSEKILLER said, it could help you in the long run if its true, you could get the kids, the house, and have her pay alimony. Then she will know what real financial trouble is. |
|
|
|
|
11-02-2003, 10:19 AM
|
#25 | |
|
Lifer
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Stomping Turbo5.4's pink shirted ass
Posts: 19,550
|
Your problem in a nutshell!!!!!!!!!!
Quote:
<<<<<<<<<<< reformed work-alcoholic |
|
|
|
|
|
11-02-2003, 03:33 PM
|
#26 |
|
Yes I'm...
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: N Ft Worth
Posts: 3,560
|
So the real problem is that you work all the time and then when you do have time, you go out with the guys. You have a wife and kids man, time to start acting like it.
|
|
|
|
|
11-02-2003, 05:04 PM
|
#27 | |
|
Playa from tha Himalayas
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Garland
Posts: 1,167
|
Quote:
__________________
|
|
|
|
|
|
11-02-2003, 05:07 PM
|
#28 |
|
Very Thankful!
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: My Town!
Posts: 8,853
|
A marriage takes two people willing to work at anything and everything to make things right. One person can't save it.
Also if you two bought the house how did she kick you out?!?! |
|
|
|
|
11-02-2003, 05:12 PM
|
#29 |
|
Lifer
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Bonestockville
Posts: 2,712
|
When I got divorced the old lady wanted out so I showed her the door. I paid the bills she didn't. I wanted to make it work she didn't so she had to go. I wasn't going anywhere. If she want's to leave she can find another place.
|
|
|
|
|
11-02-2003, 11:21 PM
|
#30 | |
|
Lifer
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Stomping Turbo5.4's pink shirted ass
Posts: 19,550
|
Quote:
^ ^ ^ ^ Here's what I heard from a little bird: "Dont let the screendoor hit your ass on the way out, BITCH!!!!!!!!!"
|
|
|
|
|
|
11-02-2003, 11:26 PM
|
#31 | |
|
Lifer
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 1,967
|
Quote:
she wants you out and him in... its simple get the fuck out... but make sure you get the house... |
|
|
|
|
|
11-03-2003, 12:47 AM
|
#32 |
|
Time Served
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 348
|
going through this myself.. I seriously think she is cheating or has cheated!
you already said she was talking to someone behind your back. Maybe there has been something for a long time |
|
|
|
|
11-03-2003, 08:57 AM
|
#33 |
|
Lifer
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Arlington
Posts: 13,904
|
divorce the bitch, don't be a fool.
|
|
|
|
|
11-03-2003, 09:06 AM
|
#34 |
|
Mavs Fan For Life!
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Lewisville/Dallas
Posts: 2,391
|
I am not married, so I dont have the inside scope from a married persons perspective. But it seems there is a break down in communication here on your part or her part or both of you. It has to start with communication. Try to get her away from the kids and house somewhere out where you two can sit down and talk one on one, heart to heart. Everything else in your life needs to go to the back burner and get this resolved with your wife for better or worse...hopefully for the better.
|
|
|
|
|
11-03-2003, 09:32 PM
|
#35 |
|
Time Served
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: DFW
Posts: 670
|
Well, I'm sure none of us know the entire story, but it sounds like she was just looking for a reason. My husband and I often do our own thing with our friends, but we don't have kids and usually get to spend a few hours together every week.
If you don't want out you have to try or you will always regret it. If you really want to try to work it out, you have to make time to talk to each other. You need to tell her how you feel about her and your family. Also, if money is an issue come up with a budget and share it with her. If she still acts like its not worth the effort, she just wants out and nothing you can do or say will change it.
__________________
Want some? Come get some, but you are gonna have to catch me. 1992 Special Edition Convertible (Vibrant Red with a white top and white ponies) 2005 GSX-R 600 Blue/White 
|
|
|
|
|
11-03-2003, 09:51 PM
|
#36 | |
|
EE Major, Phi Theta Kappa
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Fort Worth, Texas (North Side)
Posts: 13,825
|
Quote:
|
|
|
|
|
|
11-03-2003, 09:59 PM
|
#37 | |
|
you stinky bitch
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: go fuck yourself
Posts: 3,518
|
Quote:
__________________
Best something in Texas.... just don't know what it is yet.... |
|
|
|
|
|
11-03-2003, 10:01 PM
|
#38 | |
|
EE Major, Phi Theta Kappa
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Fort Worth, Texas (North Side)
Posts: 13,825
|
Quote:
|
|
|
|
|
|
11-03-2003, 10:03 PM
|
#39 | |
|
you stinky bitch
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: go fuck yourself
Posts: 3,518
|
Quote:
that would be some cold shit man.
__________________
Best something in Texas.... just don't know what it is yet.... |
|
|
|
|
|
11-04-2003, 01:04 AM
|
#40 |
|
Time Served
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Irving Tx
Posts: 465
|
I am back in the house now and I am not leaving and neighter are my kids. She can get the fuck out if she wants. Yes she is cheating on me but has not done the nasty with him, just thinks she loves him and hates me. He is 9 yrs older then her and is married and told her he would pay for a place for her if she wants. To me this guy is just looking for a week end fuck and nothing more cause if he did want more he would have left his wife a long time ago. Well I called his wife tonight and she was told by him that my wife keeps calling him and the truth is both of them keep calling each other. So he is now being kicked out by her and I told my wife to eighter fix our problems or get ready for a big fight and I am not moving out she will have too. Oh well only time will tell if it works or not.
__________________
2001 Mustang GT
|
|
|
|
|
11-04-2003, 01:19 AM
|
#41 |
|
Time Served
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: the small fire in yo momma's panties
Posts: 521
|
Sorry about all the troubles andrew. If she is cheating on you with you guys having a family, that is not right, and you need to think hard about what direction you want to go. That is not a good environment for your kids, they deserve better. Anyway, good luck.
|
|
|
|
|
11-04-2003, 02:12 AM
|
#42 |
|
Lifer
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: raider nation
Posts: 1,715
|
Sounds like you need an attorney real quick.
Good luck |
|
|
|
|
11-04-2003, 09:45 AM
|
#43 | |
|
Lifer
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Stomping Turbo5.4's pink shirted ass
Posts: 19,550
|
Quote:
Alright man!!!!!!!!!! Now get a lawyer! ASAP!!!!!!! |
|
|
|
|
|
11-04-2003, 09:52 AM
|
#44 |
|
Time Served
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 401
|
No matter what, you will always have money problems! you both need to talk things out and find ways to solve them. Teddy and I have these problems and we talk them out and so far we are getting better at it. It really does takes a while to solve your problems.
On the other hand...if she is seeing other people...I wouldn't mess with it. Kick her ass out! You can claim the kids and have her pay up with child support. Like we all said "KICK HER ASS OUT!!"
__________________
If you can't laugh at your mistakes, then your not learning life! |
|
|
|
|
11-04-2003, 10:03 AM
|
#45 |
|
Back From Oblivion
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,408
|
I knew just by reading your initial post that if she said she didn't want counseling, there was more to it on her side. I am totally against divorce, so I'm probably not one to talk to about any of this, but if she's been cheating on you (oh, and by the way, if she thinks she "loves" this guy, she's slept with him.....don't be that naive), then that different. It's really pointless to dwell on why she cheated, now you have to think about how you are gonna deal with it. Since she can't blame any of this on you now, you have all the right to stay with the house and kids, she doesn't. And now that the other guy has been kicked out, they are gonna see it as an opportunity to be together. Just do what's best for yourself and your kids. Don't bother with how she's gonna feel about anything now. She sure hasn't. Sorry for your troubles.
|
|
|
|
|
11-04-2003, 10:09 AM
|
#46 | |
|
Man of Steel
Join Date: Mar 2000
Posts: 31,151
|
Quote:
|
|
|
|
|
|
11-04-2003, 10:28 AM
|
#47 |
|
Time Served
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Longview, TX
Posts: 107
|
I will agree and disagree with those on here. Your kids are not more important than your spouse but when one side walks out hold on to them with all you have.
Since she is having an affair there is not much you can do other than let her go. If you truly love her, which I think you do or you would not have posted in the first place, keep the lines of communication open. I know of many couples that have had to work through an affair and in the end it made them stronger. Keep a good relationship if at all possible for your kid's sake, it will be important forever, not just through a divorce. Sorry to hear about your pain and will remember your situation in prayer.
__________________
Heaven or Hell? It's your choice. |
|
|
|
|
11-04-2003, 10:42 AM
|
#48 | |
|
Lifer
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: I'm me and your approval is not needed.
Posts: 1,914
|
She cheated once and she'll do it again. I would just let her go since she believes the grass is greener on the other side. I bet when the guy tells her he wants to work it out with his wife she comes crawling back to you. I wouldn't take her back but that is all up to you and how you feel.
__________________
Quote:
|
|
|
|
|
|
11-04-2003, 11:13 AM
|
#49 |
|
Kiss it...
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Plano
Posts: 33,660
|
Cheating is non-excusable, period. If she doesn't love you or respect you enough to break it off first, there is not enough left of your relationship that is worth saving.
__________________
Raven 2006 Yamaha R6S "If it has horsepower or tits you're gonna have trouble with it eventually..." |
|
|
|
|
11-04-2003, 11:36 AM
|
#50 |
|
BOOMER SOONER!
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Grand Prairie, TX
Posts: 1,355
|
glad you called the dudes wife & gave her the real story. Stay strong & get a good attorney.
|
|
|
|
 |
| Bookmarks |
| Thread Tools | |
| Display Modes | |
|
|
Linear Mode
