86vortechgt
01-29-2003, 08:14 AM
> How do you know when you're really ugly?
> Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed
>
> What is the quickest way to clear out a men's restroom?
> Say, "Nice Dick"
>
> How do you know when you're leading a sad life?
> When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Lets just be friends."
>
> Mom's have Mother's day, Dad's have Fathers day, What do single guys have?
> Palm Sunday
>
> What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts?
> Her Navel
>
> What has a whole bunch of balls and screws old ladies?
> A Bingo Machine
>
> What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
> A porcupine has the pricks on the outside
>
> Why did God create alcohol?
> So ugly people could have sex too
>
> What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
> "Are you sure it's mine?"
>
> Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
> Mace will do that to you
>
> If you are having sex with two women and one more walks in, what do you
have?
> Divorce proceedings most likely
>
> What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
> A speech impediment
>
> Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
> Breasts don't have eyes
>
> What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm?
> A Pimp
>
> What's the difference between a Southern zoo, and a Northern zoo?
> A Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front the cage,
along
> with a recipe
>
> Q. What was Clinton's biggest mistake after breaking off his affair with
> Monica?
> A. Not asking Ted Kennedy to drive her home!
> Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed
>
> What is the quickest way to clear out a men's restroom?
> Say, "Nice Dick"
>
> How do you know when you're leading a sad life?
> When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Lets just be friends."
>
> Mom's have Mother's day, Dad's have Fathers day, What do single guys have?
> Palm Sunday
>
> What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts?
> Her Navel
>
> What has a whole bunch of balls and screws old ladies?
> A Bingo Machine
>
> What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
> A porcupine has the pricks on the outside
>
> Why did God create alcohol?
> So ugly people could have sex too
>
> What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
> "Are you sure it's mine?"
>
> Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
> Mace will do that to you
>
> If you are having sex with two women and one more walks in, what do you
have?
> Divorce proceedings most likely
>
> What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
> A speech impediment
>
> Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
> Breasts don't have eyes
>
> What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm?
> A Pimp
>
> What's the difference between a Southern zoo, and a Northern zoo?
> A Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front the cage,
along
> with a recipe
>
> Q. What was Clinton's biggest mistake after breaking off his affair with
> Monica?
> A. Not asking Ted Kennedy to drive her home!