Way Cool Jr
05-30-2001, 01:25 PM
1. Take the hotel towel
2. Pay tolls with $100 bills
3. Practice the art of limp handshakes
4. Tell the ending of movies
5. Give little kids clothes for their birthdays
6. Leave the toilet seat up
7. Take more than x items to the express checkout lane
8. Turn on your bright for oncoming traffic
9. Finish other people's crossword puzzles
10. Use the last square of toilet paper
11. Tailgate the elderly
12. Drum your fingers during other people's presentations
13. Blow out other people's birthday candles
14. Don't leave a message at the beep
15. Leave your supermarket cart on the street or in the parking lot
16. Block the entrances of elevators, buses, and subways
17. Eat produce at the market; don't buy it
18. When giving directions, leave out a turn or two
19. Toss things out the window: tissues, cigarettes, cellophane food wrappings and those sorts of things
20. Leave the outdoor Christmas decorations up until March or April
21. Serve corn on the cob to people with dentures
22. See if you can be the first one off the plane, even if you are sitting by the window
23. Put a title like Senator or Doctor before your name when making dinner and hotel reservations
24. Before exiting the elevator, push all the buttons
25. Go up the down escalator (B.P., this means you)
26. Develop at least three strategies for cutting into the front of lines
27. Snap your gum
28. Squeeze the toothpaste from the top, and while you're at it, leave the cap off
29. Open umbrellas in crowded hallways
30. Announce when you're going to the bathroom
31. Read over other people's shoulders on the bus
32. When it says, "Reserved Parking", this means you
33. Pinch all the chocolate candies until you find the one you want
34. Leave your pantyhose hanging in the shower
35. Chew other people's pencils
36. Lie to your therapist and sit in her chair
37. Let doors slam behind you -- in other people's faces
38. Tell teenagers how things were in your day
39. Hold the elevator until you have finished your conversation
40. Pee in the swimming pool
41. Ride on the shoulder until you pass all the jammed traffic; then cut in
42. Wear large hats during the movies
43. Forget the pooper scooper
44. Race the old woman for the last bus seat
45. Cause gridlock
46. Bring 15 things into the dressing room
47. Draw mustaches on posters
48. Don't rewind videocassettes before bringing them back
49. Serve TV dinners, wine coolers, and cherry Twinkies on Thanksgiving
50. Walk very slowly, and make sure nobody can get past you
51. Touch strangers
52. Tell little children the truth about Santa Claus
53. Bite your dentist's finger
54. Fart in cramped places
55. Leave lipstick prints on people's cheeks and foreheads
56. Don't stand during hymns and anthems
57. Dance fast to slow music and vice-versa
58. Rubberneck
59. Leave pages in the copier
60. Be "in conference" all the time
61. Don't clean the dryer lint screen
62. Buy it, wear it, return it
63. Tell people they have bad breath
64. Smell smoke often and announce it
65. Eat out with friends and "forget" your wallet
66. Put everyone on speakerphone
67. Step on the back of the shoe of the person in front of you
68. Rain on someone's parade
69. Make scary faces at babies
70. Flirt with a friend's spouse
71. Sit in the home bleachers and cheer for the other team
72. Pretend you're listening
73. Shake with your left hand
[This message has been edited by Way Cool Jr (edited 05-30-2001).]
2. Pay tolls with $100 bills
3. Practice the art of limp handshakes
4. Tell the ending of movies
5. Give little kids clothes for their birthdays
6. Leave the toilet seat up
7. Take more than x items to the express checkout lane
8. Turn on your bright for oncoming traffic
9. Finish other people's crossword puzzles
10. Use the last square of toilet paper
11. Tailgate the elderly
12. Drum your fingers during other people's presentations
13. Blow out other people's birthday candles
14. Don't leave a message at the beep
15. Leave your supermarket cart on the street or in the parking lot
16. Block the entrances of elevators, buses, and subways
17. Eat produce at the market; don't buy it
18. When giving directions, leave out a turn or two
19. Toss things out the window: tissues, cigarettes, cellophane food wrappings and those sorts of things
20. Leave the outdoor Christmas decorations up until March or April
21. Serve corn on the cob to people with dentures
22. See if you can be the first one off the plane, even if you are sitting by the window
23. Put a title like Senator or Doctor before your name when making dinner and hotel reservations
24. Before exiting the elevator, push all the buttons
25. Go up the down escalator (B.P., this means you)
26. Develop at least three strategies for cutting into the front of lines
27. Snap your gum
28. Squeeze the toothpaste from the top, and while you're at it, leave the cap off
29. Open umbrellas in crowded hallways
30. Announce when you're going to the bathroom
31. Read over other people's shoulders on the bus
32. When it says, "Reserved Parking", this means you
33. Pinch all the chocolate candies until you find the one you want
34. Leave your pantyhose hanging in the shower
35. Chew other people's pencils
36. Lie to your therapist and sit in her chair
37. Let doors slam behind you -- in other people's faces
38. Tell teenagers how things were in your day
39. Hold the elevator until you have finished your conversation
40. Pee in the swimming pool
41. Ride on the shoulder until you pass all the jammed traffic; then cut in
42. Wear large hats during the movies
43. Forget the pooper scooper
44. Race the old woman for the last bus seat
45. Cause gridlock
46. Bring 15 things into the dressing room
47. Draw mustaches on posters
48. Don't rewind videocassettes before bringing them back
49. Serve TV dinners, wine coolers, and cherry Twinkies on Thanksgiving
50. Walk very slowly, and make sure nobody can get past you
51. Touch strangers
52. Tell little children the truth about Santa Claus
53. Bite your dentist's finger
54. Fart in cramped places
55. Leave lipstick prints on people's cheeks and foreheads
56. Don't stand during hymns and anthems
57. Dance fast to slow music and vice-versa
58. Rubberneck
59. Leave pages in the copier
60. Be "in conference" all the time
61. Don't clean the dryer lint screen
62. Buy it, wear it, return it
63. Tell people they have bad breath
64. Smell smoke often and announce it
65. Eat out with friends and "forget" your wallet
66. Put everyone on speakerphone
67. Step on the back of the shoe of the person in front of you
68. Rain on someone's parade
69. Make scary faces at babies
70. Flirt with a friend's spouse
71. Sit in the home bleachers and cheer for the other team
72. Pretend you're listening
73. Shake with your left hand
[This message has been edited by Way Cool Jr (edited 05-30-2001).]