outatime
09-15-2002, 01:37 AM
Q: How do you make a Yugo go faster?
A: A towtruck.
Q: What do you call the shock absorbers inside a Yugo?
A: Passengers.
Q: Why does a Yugo have a heated rear window?
A: So you hands won't get cold while you're pushing it.
Q: How can you get a Yugo to do 60 miles an hour?
A: Push it over a cliff.
Q: Have you heard about the new Yugo convertible?
A: Researchers how found that if you tow it past 60, the top flies off.
Q: What comes with every Yugo User's Manual?
A: The bus schedule.
Q: What do you call a Yugo at the top of a big hill?
A: A miracle!
Q: What do Yugos have in common with Ferarris?
A1: A Ferarri can go from 0 to 60 in 4 seconds.
A2: A Yugo can go from 0 to 4 in 60 seconds.
Q: How do you fix a broken Yugo?
A: 1) Lift off the radiator cap.
2) Push off cliff.
3) and drive brand-new one underneath radiator cap.
(30-mile/3-day warranty included!)
Q: How do you double the value of a Yugo?
A1: Fill the tank with gas! (If it can still hold liquid.)
A2: If not, put a gallon of milk in the back seat.
A3: This joke has been censored because it offends Yugoslavians, other
people affected by the strife in Eastern Europe, and goes against the
Communist belief system that material goods are provided by the state
for its populace and therefore should have no stated monetary or status
value whatsoever. Members of the bicycle-now group will also be upset
because this joke encourages automobile use.
I have also said for years that the car is named because "Yugo, but it
doesn't."
Yugos are now much safer and come standard with an air bag. When you sense
an impending accident, start blowing *real fast.*
Actually, a Yugo CAN accelerate as fast as a Ferarri, if you give it a fast
enough running start, so it clears the cliff's edge...
The Oakland Police captured two men in their Yugo last night. The men are
being held as suspects in the city's first push-by shooting.
Consumer safety tests showed that a 5 mph parking-lot crash will cause about
$2800 damage to a Yugo. What's left? About $1200 of "dealer prep."
A friend went to a dealer the other day and said, "I'd like a gas cap for my
Yugo."
The dealer replied, "OK. Sounds like a fair trade."
Yu*go (yoo-go)
n. 1) Small, economical, Yugoslavian-built automobile.
2) 4x4 hood ornament.
adj. 1) What doesn't happen when you press the accelerator.
From the Yugo owner's manual: "If you sense an impending accident with any
other animate or inanimate object larger than a breadbox, quickly
1) place head between legs,
2) lock hands behind head,
3) Repeat: "Our Father, who art in heaven..."
A: A towtruck.
Q: What do you call the shock absorbers inside a Yugo?
A: Passengers.
Q: Why does a Yugo have a heated rear window?
A: So you hands won't get cold while you're pushing it.
Q: How can you get a Yugo to do 60 miles an hour?
A: Push it over a cliff.
Q: Have you heard about the new Yugo convertible?
A: Researchers how found that if you tow it past 60, the top flies off.
Q: What comes with every Yugo User's Manual?
A: The bus schedule.
Q: What do you call a Yugo at the top of a big hill?
A: A miracle!
Q: What do Yugos have in common with Ferarris?
A1: A Ferarri can go from 0 to 60 in 4 seconds.
A2: A Yugo can go from 0 to 4 in 60 seconds.
Q: How do you fix a broken Yugo?
A: 1) Lift off the radiator cap.
2) Push off cliff.
3) and drive brand-new one underneath radiator cap.
(30-mile/3-day warranty included!)
Q: How do you double the value of a Yugo?
A1: Fill the tank with gas! (If it can still hold liquid.)
A2: If not, put a gallon of milk in the back seat.
A3: This joke has been censored because it offends Yugoslavians, other
people affected by the strife in Eastern Europe, and goes against the
Communist belief system that material goods are provided by the state
for its populace and therefore should have no stated monetary or status
value whatsoever. Members of the bicycle-now group will also be upset
because this joke encourages automobile use.
I have also said for years that the car is named because "Yugo, but it
doesn't."
Yugos are now much safer and come standard with an air bag. When you sense
an impending accident, start blowing *real fast.*
Actually, a Yugo CAN accelerate as fast as a Ferarri, if you give it a fast
enough running start, so it clears the cliff's edge...
The Oakland Police captured two men in their Yugo last night. The men are
being held as suspects in the city's first push-by shooting.
Consumer safety tests showed that a 5 mph parking-lot crash will cause about
$2800 damage to a Yugo. What's left? About $1200 of "dealer prep."
A friend went to a dealer the other day and said, "I'd like a gas cap for my
Yugo."
The dealer replied, "OK. Sounds like a fair trade."
Yu*go (yoo-go)
n. 1) Small, economical, Yugoslavian-built automobile.
2) 4x4 hood ornament.
adj. 1) What doesn't happen when you press the accelerator.
From the Yugo owner's manual: "If you sense an impending accident with any
other animate or inanimate object larger than a breadbox, quickly
1) place head between legs,
2) lock hands behind head,
3) Repeat: "Our Father, who art in heaven..."