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Barbie
08-20-2008, 12:15 AM
Shamu is free to leave SeaWorld at anytime, but refuses to go back into open water due to a gambling debt in which he owes Michael Phelps $20.

Fertile females are not allowed in the pool after Phelps until the water has been boiled for twenty minutes.

A Michael Phelps flip-turn is the only phenomenon in the universe capable of canceling out the force of a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.

Michael Phelps’ sperm can swim so well, they impregnated a woman who gave him a BJ.

Michael Phelps is the orca’s only known predator in the water.

Michael Phelps has swum through Atlantis, but he’s keeping it a secret because its the only place with more gold medals than him

Michael Phelps once swam all the way to Gilligan’s Island just to have a threesome with Mary Ann and Ginger. He departed the next morning, taking only Bob Denver’s career with him.

You only see Michael Phelps’ mother on TV because his father was Poseidon.


I thought some of these were pretty funny, post any more you've seen or heard
MattB
08-20-2008, 12:17 AM
I've got one.

Who gives a shit about Michael Phelps?









not me
That_Is_My_El_Camino
08-20-2008, 12:18 AM
A Michael Phelps flip-turn is the only phenomenon in the universe capable of canceling out the force of a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.

Michael Phelps once swam all the way to Gilligan’s Island just to have a threesome with Mary Ann and Ginger. He departed the next morning, taking only Bob Denver’s career with him.Blasphemies! Everybody knows there is no force that can compare to a Chuck Norris roundhouse, and Bob Denver never had a career.I've got one.

Who gives a shit about Michael Phelps?

not meDon't you still have a few days left where you're required by law to be patriotic and caught up in the Olympic Fever?
mutherjuggz
08-20-2008, 12:19 AM
I've got one.

Who gives a shit about Michael Phelps?









not me

completely out of context!

it's supposed to be

Who gives a shit?

[ ] me
[x] not me
MattB
08-20-2008, 12:21 AM
completely out of context!

it's supposed to be

Who gives a shit?

[ ] me
[x] not me


wat
mutherjuggz
08-20-2008, 12:34 AM
wat

nuttin
AbecX
08-20-2008, 06:18 AM
he's no carl lewis.
Sean88gt
08-20-2008, 07:49 AM
Shamu is free to leave SeaWorld at anytime, but refuses to go back into open water due to a gambling debt in which he owes Michael Phelps $20.

Fertile females are not allowed in the pool after Phelps until the water has been boiled for twenty minutes.

A Michael Phelps flip-turn is the only phenomenon in the universe capable of canceling out the force of a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.

Michael Phelps’ sperm can swim so well, they impregnated a woman who gave him a BJ.

Michael Phelps is the orca’s only known predator in the water.

Michael Phelps has swum through Atlantis, but he’s keeping it a secret because its the only place with more gold medals than him

Michael Phelps once swam all the way to Gilligan’s Island just to have a threesome with Mary Ann and Ginger. He departed the next morning, taking only Bob Denver’s career with him.

You only see Michael Phelps’ mother on TV because his father was Poseidon.


I thought some of these were pretty funny, post any more you've seen or heard

.......
boooo
junior
08-20-2008, 07:53 AM
I've got one.

Who gives a shit about Michael Phelps?









not me


good one LMAO
Vertnut
08-20-2008, 07:59 AM
he's no carl lewis.
You're right. Carl isn't even close.
Cooter
08-20-2008, 08:02 AM
those were so funny, I pissed my fucking pants! :rolleyes:

oh look, Michael Phelps is the greatest athlete ever! luckily he's a swimmer and there's fifty different events he can enter :o

(yes, the dude is fucking unreal at swimming)
Sgt Beavis
08-20-2008, 08:18 AM
You only see Michael Phelps’ mother on TV because his father was Poseidon.



That's not his real mom.

Michael Phelps was born after Chuck Norris took a leak in Chesapeake bay and accidentally impregnated a dolphin.
347Mike
08-20-2008, 08:19 AM
That's not his real mom.

Michael Phelps was born after Chuck Norris took a leak in Chesapeake bay and accidentally impregnated a dolphin.

I laughed. LOL. <-- (me laughing)
That_Is_My_El_Camino
08-20-2008, 01:40 PM
That's not his real mom.

Michael Phelps was born after Chuck Norris took a leak in Chesapeake bay and accidentally impregnated a dolphin.That was funny!
KWClutch
08-22-2008, 10:58 AM
Nice...
03mach1speed
08-25-2008, 06:43 PM
:( :confused: :(
The2kcvert
08-25-2008, 10:28 PM
wow, that was just about the lamest series of jokes ever told !
Wolferine3
08-26-2008, 12:03 AM
That's not his real mom.

Michael Phelps was born after Chuck Norris took a leak in Chesapeake bay and accidentally impregnated a dolphin.


best one of all!!