BIGDUMMY
04-15-2007, 08:39 PM
>1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
>"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.
>I just finished cleaning."
>
>2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
>"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
>
>3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
>"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you
>into the middle of next week!"
>
>4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
>" Because I said so, that's why."
>
>5. < B>My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
>"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck,
>you're not going to the store with me."
>
>6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
>"Make sure you wear clean underwear,!
>in case you're in an accident."
>
>7. My mother taught me IRONY.
>"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
>
>8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
>"Shut your mo uth and eat your supper."
>
>9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
>"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
>
>10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
>"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
>
>11 . My mother taught me about WEATHER.
>"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
>
>12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
>"If I told you once, I've told you a million times.
>Don't exaggerate!"
>
>13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
>"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
>
>14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
>"Stop act ing like your father!"
>
>15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
>"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world
>who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
>
>16. My mother taughme about ANTICIPATION.
>"Just wait until we get home."
>
>17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
>"You are going to get it when you get home!"
>
>18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
>"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going
>to get stuck that way."
>
>19. My mother taught me ESP.
>"Put your sweater on; don't you think
>I know when you are cold?"
>
>20. My mother taught me HUMOR .
>"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes,
>don't come running to me."
>
>21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
>"If you don't eat your vegetables,
>you'll never grow up."
>
>22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
>"You're just like your father."
>
>23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
>"Shut that door behind you. Do you think
>you were born in a barn?"
>
>24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
>"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
>
>25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
>"One day! you'll have kids, and I hope
>they turn out just like you
>
>
>"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.
>I just finished cleaning."
>
>2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
>"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
>
>3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
>"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you
>into the middle of next week!"
>
>4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
>" Because I said so, that's why."
>
>5. < B>My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
>"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck,
>you're not going to the store with me."
>
>6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
>"Make sure you wear clean underwear,!
>in case you're in an accident."
>
>7. My mother taught me IRONY.
>"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
>
>8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
>"Shut your mo uth and eat your supper."
>
>9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
>"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
>
>10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
>"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
>
>11 . My mother taught me about WEATHER.
>"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
>
>12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
>"If I told you once, I've told you a million times.
>Don't exaggerate!"
>
>13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
>"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
>
>14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
>"Stop act ing like your father!"
>
>15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
>"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world
>who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
>
>16. My mother taughme about ANTICIPATION.
>"Just wait until we get home."
>
>17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
>"You are going to get it when you get home!"
>
>18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
>"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going
>to get stuck that way."
>
>19. My mother taught me ESP.
>"Put your sweater on; don't you think
>I know when you are cold?"
>
>20. My mother taught me HUMOR .
>"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes,
>don't come running to me."
>
>21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
>"If you don't eat your vegetables,
>you'll never grow up."
>
>22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
>"You're just like your father."
>
>23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
>"Shut that door behind you. Do you think
>you were born in a barn?"
>
>24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
>"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
>
>25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
>"One day! you'll have kids, and I hope
>they turn out just like you
>
>