lowthreeohz
02-27-2007, 01:18 PM
This is a story about a couple who had been happily
married for years. The only friction in their
marriage
was the husband's habit of farting loudly every
morning
when he awoke.
The noise would wake his wife and the smell would
make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop
ripping them off because it was making her sick.
He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was
perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor;
she was concerned that one day he would
blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out!
Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing
the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound
asleep,
she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey
innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare
parts and a malicious thought came t o her.
She took the bowl and went upstairs where her
husband
was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed
covers,
she pulled back the elastic waistband of his
underpants
and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband waken with his
usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood
curdling
scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran
into
the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself
as
she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes!
After years of torture she reckoned she had got him
back
pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came
downstairs
in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror
on his
face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the
matter.
He said, "Honey, you were right." "All these years
you have warned me and I didn't listen to you."
"What do you mean?" asked his wife.
"Well, you always told me that one day I would end
up
farting my guts out, and today it finally happened.
But by the grace of God, some Vaseline and two
fingers, I think I got most of them back in."
married for years. The only friction in their
marriage
was the husband's habit of farting loudly every
morning
when he awoke.
The noise would wake his wife and the smell would
make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop
ripping them off because it was making her sick.
He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was
perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor;
she was concerned that one day he would
blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out!
Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing
the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound
asleep,
she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey
innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare
parts and a malicious thought came t o her.
She took the bowl and went upstairs where her
husband
was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed
covers,
she pulled back the elastic waistband of his
underpants
and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband waken with his
usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood
curdling
scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran
into
the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself
as
she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes!
After years of torture she reckoned she had got him
back
pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came
downstairs
in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror
on his
face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the
matter.
He said, "Honey, you were right." "All these years
you have warned me and I didn't listen to you."
"What do you mean?" asked his wife.
"Well, you always told me that one day I would end
up
farting my guts out, and today it finally happened.
But by the grace of God, some Vaseline and two
fingers, I think I got most of them back in."