CBX1000
10-06-2004, 08:55 AM
A girl phoned me the other day and said .... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home.
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And we were poor too. Why if I wasn't born a boy.... I'd have nothing to play with.
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One day as I came home early from work ..... I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy .... Hey buddy .... why are you doing that? He said ....Because you came home early.
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Its been a rough day. I got up this morning .... put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.
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When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up.
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I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
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My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.
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My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
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When I was born .... the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father .... I'm very sorry. We did everything we could.. .... But he pulled through.
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My mother had morning sickness -- after I was born.
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I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
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Once when I was lost..... I saw a policeman and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him .... do you think we'll ever find them? He said ... I don't know kid .... there are so many place they can hide.
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My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.
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I worked in a pet shop and people kept asking how big I'd get.
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I went to see my doctor. Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror... I feel like throwing up; What's wrong with me? He said...I don't know but your eyesight is perfect.
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My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him ... If you don't mind I'd like a second opinion. He said .... Alright....you're ugly too!
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When I was born the doctor took one look at my face ... turned me over and said. Look ... twins!
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I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.
********
And we were poor too. Why if I wasn't born a boy.... I'd have nothing to play with.
**********
One day as I came home early from work ..... I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy .... Hey buddy .... why are you doing that? He said ....Because you came home early.
**********
Its been a rough day. I got up this morning .... put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.
**********
When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up.
**********
I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
**********
My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.
**********
My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
**********
When I was born .... the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father .... I'm very sorry. We did everything we could.. .... But he pulled through.
**********
My mother had morning sickness -- after I was born.
**********
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
**********
Once when I was lost..... I saw a policeman and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him .... do you think we'll ever find them? He said ... I don't know kid .... there are so many place they can hide.
**********
My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.
**********
I worked in a pet shop and people kept asking how big I'd get.
**********
I went to see my doctor. Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror... I feel like throwing up; What's wrong with me? He said...I don't know but your eyesight is perfect.
**********
My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him ... If you don't mind I'd like a second opinion. He said .... Alright....you're ugly too!
**********
When I was born the doctor took one look at my face ... turned me over and said. Look ... twins!
**********
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.