cobrajet69
02-16-2004, 03:31 PM
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for
the following reasons:
1. I do physical labor.
2. I work at great depths.
3. I plunge head first into everything I do.
4. I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
5. I work in a damp environment.
6. I don't get paid overtime.
7. I work in a dark workplace that has poor
ventilation.
8. I work in high temperatures, and my work exposes
me to contagious diseases.
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the
arguments you have raised, the administration
rejects
your request for the following reasons:
1. You cannot work 8 hours straight.
2. You fall asleep on the job after brief work
periods.
3. You do not always follow the orders of the
management team.
4. You do not stay in your designated area and are
often seen visiting other locations.
5. You do not take initiative -- you need to be
pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end
of
your shift.
7. You don't always observe necessary safety
regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
8. You will retire well before you are 65.
9. You are unable to work double shifts.
10. You sometimes leave your designated work before
you have completed the assigned task.
11. And if that were not enough, you have been seen
constantly entering and exiting the workplace
carrying
two suspicious looking bags.
the following reasons:
1. I do physical labor.
2. I work at great depths.
3. I plunge head first into everything I do.
4. I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
5. I work in a damp environment.
6. I don't get paid overtime.
7. I work in a dark workplace that has poor
ventilation.
8. I work in high temperatures, and my work exposes
me to contagious diseases.
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the
arguments you have raised, the administration
rejects
your request for the following reasons:
1. You cannot work 8 hours straight.
2. You fall asleep on the job after brief work
periods.
3. You do not always follow the orders of the
management team.
4. You do not stay in your designated area and are
often seen visiting other locations.
5. You do not take initiative -- you need to be
pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end
of
your shift.
7. You don't always observe necessary safety
regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
8. You will retire well before you are 65.
9. You are unable to work double shifts.
10. You sometimes leave your designated work before
you have completed the assigned task.
11. And if that were not enough, you have been seen
constantly entering and exiting the workplace
carrying
two suspicious looking bags.