need help saving my marriage please [Archive]

Z4 Mustang

11-01-2003, 09:57 PM

I think she is upset about our money issues and that I was going out all the time with the guys in the past. She was also talking to someone behind my back and I got pissed off at that and she kicked me out. Now I am living with my parents for now. Also she does not want to go to marriage councling. I have three kids and a house we just bought about 6 months ago. I dont want it over, I want to save what we have and could have in the futher.

Jedi

11-01-2003, 10:08 PM

if she wants out, let her. Keeping her in a marriage that she doesn't want will just make both of your lives a living hell.

Chuck

11-01-2003, 10:11 PM

Divorce isn't going to help the money issues for sure. Maybe some of the ladies on the board will have some good ideas.

Write her a heart felt letter, candy, flowers....beg! Sorry about your situation....it sucks.

Gaber

11-01-2003, 10:16 PM

Originally posted by Jedi
if she wants out, let her. Keeping her in a marriage that she doesn't want will just make both of your lives a living hell.

Chuck

11-01-2003, 10:23 PM

Originally posted by Jedi
if she wants out, let her. Keeping her in a marriage that she doesn't want will just make both of your lives a living hell.

That too.

Gixxer1k

11-01-2003, 10:26 PM

Originally posted by ShelbysCA
Divorce isn't going to help the money issues for sure. Maybe some of the ladies on the board will have some good ideas.

Write her a heart felt letter, candy, flowers....beg! Sorry about your situation....it sucks.
In addition to that, dick her down real good.

O2BQIK

11-01-2003, 10:36 PM

Originally posted by Z4 Mustang
I think she is upset about our money issues and that I was going out all the time with the guys in the past. She was also talking to someone behind my back and I got pissed off at that and she kicked me out. Now I am living with my parents for now. Also she does not want to go to marriage councling. I have three kids and a house we just bought about 6 months ago. I dont want it over, I want to save what we have and could have in the futher.

Are these your kids with someone else or with her?

Either way it sounds from the info you've given that she is putting her own needs before the family's which is a no-no. Especially if these are both of your kids...she really ought to give counseling a try.

Why is she upset about your money issues? Just that you don't make enough? Or have you been squandering it?

AbecX

11-01-2003, 10:59 PM

Originally posted by Jedi
if she wants out, let her. Keeping her in a marriage that she doesn't want will just make both of your lives a living hell.
....and you would know this because of all your marriage expierence :confused:

What you ( Z4 Mustang ) need to do is get your shit straight instead of fucking around, you have 3 kids and you are going out with your buddies? Get a clue man, you'll have to own up and prove yourself that you can function as a man instead of a pre adult college kid.

bobs94formula

11-01-2003, 11:09 PM

Originally posted by AbecX
....and you would know this because of all your marriage expierence :confused:

I'd ask you the same thing...

Originally posted by AbecX
What you ( Z4 Mustang ) need to do is get your shit straight instead of fucking around, you have 3 kids and you are going out with your buddies? Get a clue man, you'll have to own up and prove yourself that you can function as a man instead of a pre adult college kid.

He did not say that he's been doing that for years, or even that it's been recent. He said in the past it could be a couple years ago that he was hanging out with the guys.

Hell I am married, have a 4 year old, and a 6 month old. If I didn't get to go out without the family everyonce in a while I'd go nuts. Sometimes it's nice to go out and do your own thing. Ofcourse you also need to let her do it sometimes too, ya know go out with the girls.

The first thing he needs to do is find out what the main problem is. He thinks she is mad about all that, he doesn't know. She may not even be mad about any of that stuff, but like statistics show it's probably money, the root of more divorces today.

Z4 you need to find the real problem she is having with your marriage, and work from there. It may mean that you have to give up going out without the family for awhile, or some other things you like to do, but if you really want to save the marriage I am sure that won't matter to you.

Bob

Paladin

11-02-2003, 12:48 AM

Originally posted by AbecX
....and you would know this because of all your marriage expierence :confused:

What you ( Z4 Mustang ) need to do is get your shit straight instead of fucking around, you have 3 kids and you are going out with your buddies? Get a clue man, you'll have to own up and prove yourself that you can function as a man instead of a pre adult college kid.

This is the line of advisce I was thinking. Cause and effect, would she have been talking to another man if you had been at home?

Thomas99GT

11-02-2003, 12:54 AM

wow! :eek: marriage advice on dfwstangs. I've officially seen everything! Anyway, I don't have any advice but good luck! but if my woman was talkin to someone behind my back, she'd be the one gettin kicked out tha house!

slvr01

11-02-2003, 01:42 AM

Like posted in previous replies just end it. One person can not make a marriage work. It takes both partners if she want's out as painfull as it is you should walk. imho

tangodelta21

11-02-2003, 01:51 AM

I sure as hell wouldn't have let her kick me out of MY house! By leaving your admitting some kind of guilt or you need to grow a pair. If you were out chasing tail then you don't have a leg to stand on......you reap what you sew.

Z4 Mustang

11-02-2003, 02:16 AM

I was not chaseing tail and never have, I left cause I did not want my kids to see mommy and daddy fight. There are plenty of reason to stay toghter and the fact that I love her more than anything in the world is the biggest one. All the kids are mine and the only thing I did when out with the guys was work on our cars or go to the races. I have never cheated on her and will not untill we are divorced and I dont even know who long it will be after that before I even think about being with another woman. At frist I went out all the time and for the last yr or so maybe once a week. I was working all the time and never home so it was like the same thing.

tangodelta21

11-02-2003, 02:53 AM

In my personal opinon it's better to fight temporarily and wade thru the problems than to leave the kids w/o a father figure.

93 Blk Coupe

11-02-2003, 03:17 AM

wtf is wrong with being married and going out with friends, and having a good time...i do it all the time :p

dude if she wants out, let her ass go and promise yourself you will be a good father and thats all that matters...if you convince her to stay now, more than likely she will think of leaving again soon, are you prepared to beg her to be your wife every few months? if you have to convince her to stay, trust me bro she has already made up her mind...

SS Junk

11-02-2003, 03:43 AM

Originally posted by Z4 Mustang
Does any one have any advice. She wants a divorce and I want to save it.
Yes. Seek marriage counseling. Not advice from a message board.
Good luck

AL P

11-02-2003, 08:26 AM

Whatever you do, don't listen to the whiney pussy boys on here. Some of these clowns are lucky to even have a woman that isn't blind. Negotiating for them includes crying, begging, licking shoes, taking all the blame, etc... It's like a Lifetime channel talk show where the woman can do no wrong....

MouseKiller

11-02-2003, 08:47 AM

Originally posted by AL P
Whatever you do, don't listen to the whiney pussy boys on here. Some of these clowns are lucky to even have a woman that isn't blind. Negotiating for them includes crying, begging, licking shoes, taking all the blame, etc... It's like a Lifetime channel talk show where the woman can do no wrong....

It takes two to make something work and AlPo is right. Begging, groveling, & crying are just going to cause her to lose respect for you.

If you want it to work, get professional help. Even if she won't go, you can go by yourself. You might learn something that will help you save the relationship. If nothing else it beats sitting on your arse and asking for help on the internet. Besides, in the eyes of a divorce court it looks like you tried to make it work.

If it were me and I suspected another man....I would have a P.I. tail her and see for sure if that is the case. If he finds anything, then you get a better idea of why the divorce. It can go towards proving she is an unfit mother and an adultress. Wouldn't it be some shit to subpoena her boyfriend to your divorce trial.

It sounds like you are in a tough spot, I wish you the best of luck and hope it all turns out for the best for you.

GT Rick

11-02-2003, 09:00 AM

i have to agree with fred, i ve been through the same shit your going through..... just let her leave but fight for custody of your kids because the kids are the important thing

JKD

11-02-2003, 09:06 AM

Of all places you could have gone to ask for advice, you chose here?! This is the LAST place you should have even thought of to do such a thing. I can't believe I'm gonna "say" this but I'm gonna have to agree with AL P on this. First thing you need to do is recover your spine and put it back in place. Secondly, think about your kids and do what is best for them. As a parent you lost the privlidge to think about yourself and your wife's relationship first. Also, Chris was exactly right- you cannot force someone to be in a relationship they do not want to be in, but you and her do have a remaining bond which is parents. Don't fuck up your kids because the marriage went sour because you both were being selfish.

MoonDog

11-02-2003, 10:06 AM

First off, you came to the wrong place. Instead of asking people on a message board you should be asking her. My advice is to get your butt off the internet and start spending time with her. I take my wife everywhere I go unless she states she doen't want to go. Your wife has to come first and not your buddies. After all, your spouse is supposed to be your best friend.

Second, you stated that she was talking to someone behind your back, can I assume that it was another guy? If so did you think that maybe she is cheating on you and is just looking for a way out? Like MOUSEKILLER said, it could help you in the long run if its true, you could get the kids, the house, and have her pay alimony. Then she will know what real financial trouble is.

Mach1Marauder

11-02-2003, 10:19 AM

Originally posted by Z4 Mustang
I I was working all the time and never home so it was like the same thing.

How can you have a relationship when you're not there?

<<<<<<<<<<< reformed work-alcoholic

O2BQIK

11-02-2003, 03:33 PM

So the real problem is that you work all the time and then when you do have time, you go out with the guys. You have a wife and kids man, time to start acting like it.

Thomas99GT

11-02-2003, 05:04 PM

Originally posted by AL P
It's like a Lifetime channel talk show where the woman can do no wrong....

DAmn lifetime channel is the most man hatinist channel ever!! lol Must be run by lesbos :D

CobraChic

11-02-2003, 05:07 PM

A marriage takes two people willing to work at anything and everything to make things right. One person can't save it.

Also if you two bought the house how did she kick you out?!?!

slvr01

11-02-2003, 05:12 PM

When I got divorced the old lady wanted out so I showed her the door. I paid the bills she didn't. I wanted to make it work she didn't so she had to go. I wasn't going anywhere. If she want's to leave she can find another place.

Mach1Marauder

11-02-2003, 11:21 PM

Originally posted by slvr01
When I got divorced the old lady wanted out so I showed her the door. I paid the bills she didn't. I wanted to make it work she didn't so she had to go. I wasn't going anywhere. If she want's to leave she can find another place.
^
^
^
^
^ Here's what I heard from a little bird: "Dont let the screendoor hit your ass on the way out, BITCH!!!!!!!!!" :p

Schargedcobra97

11-02-2003, 11:26 PM

Originally posted by Z4 Mustang
IShe was also talking to someone behind my back and I got pissed off at that and she kicked me out.

she is cheating on you and wants his dick now and not yours...
she wants you out and him in...
its simple get the fuck out...
but make sure you get the house...

85Stang347

11-03-2003, 12:47 AM

going through this myself.. I seriously think she is cheating or has cheated!

you already said she was talking to someone behind your back. Maybe there has been something for a long time

Buick355

11-03-2003, 08:57 AM

divorce the bitch, don't be a fool.

jefehbk

11-03-2003, 09:06 AM

I am not married, so I dont have the inside scope from a married persons perspective. But it seems there is a break down in communication here on your part or her part or both of you. It has to start with communication. Try to get her away from the kids and house somewhere out where you two can sit down and talk one on one, heart to heart. Everything else in your life needs to go to the back burner and get this resolved with your wife for better or worse...hopefully for the better.

92special

11-03-2003, 09:32 PM

Well, I'm sure none of us know the entire story, but it sounds like she was just looking for a reason. My husband and I often do our own thing with our friends, but we don't have kids and usually get to spend a few hours together every week.
If you don't want out you have to try or you will always regret it. If you really want to try to work it out, you have to make time to talk to each other. You need to tell her how you feel about her and your family. Also, if money is an issue come up with a budget and share it with her.
If she still acts like its not worth the effort, she just wants out and nothing you can do or say will change it.

TexasDevilDog

11-03-2003, 09:51 PM

Originally posted by Z4 Mustang
........I left cause I did not want my kids to see mommy and daddy fight. There are plenty of reason to stay toghter and the fact that I love her more than anything in the world is the biggest one. All the kids are mine........

I would be covering my butt in this situation and get my butt back in the house. If this does go to divorce then you want to show that you did not bail out of the house. You need to be there for your kids. Or else you will be getting the shaft. You'll loose your kids and only be a weekend father. I would move back in as soon as possible. Be nice and no fighting even if provoked. Help out around the house, cleaning, cooking, lawn work, everthing. You need to put 150% effort in it, if you really want to save your marriage or atleast get the kids.

inline 6

11-03-2003, 09:59 PM

Does any one have any advice. She wants a divorce and I want to save it.

I have been in the wanting to save it situation before man so I feel ya on that one, but I have to say that you are asking the wrong bunch of ass holes for advise.

TexasDevilDog

11-03-2003, 10:01 PM

Originally posted by inline 6
I have been in the wanting to save it situation before man so I feel ya on that one, but I have to say that you are asking the wrong bunch of ass holes for advise.

Hey, none of us asked for her number yet! ;)

inline 6

11-03-2003, 10:03 PM

Hey, none of us asked for her number yet!

that would be some cold shit man.

Z4 Mustang

11-04-2003, 01:04 AM

I am back in the house now and I am not leaving and neighter are my kids. She can get the fuck out if she wants. Yes she is cheating on me but has not done the nasty with him, just thinks she loves him and hates me. He is 9 yrs older then her and is married and told her he would pay for a place for her if she wants. To me this guy is just looking for a week end fuck and nothing more cause if he did want more he would have left his wife a long time ago. Well I called his wife tonight and she was told by him that my wife keeps calling him and the truth is both of them keep calling each other. So he is now being kicked out by her and I told my wife to eighter fix our problems or get ready for a big fight and I am not moving out she will have too. Oh well only time will tell if it works or not.

Stimpy

11-04-2003, 01:19 AM

Sorry about all the troubles andrew. If she is cheating on you with you guys having a family, that is not right, and you need to think hard about what direction you want to go. That is not a good environment for your kids, they deserve better. Anyway, good luck.

mike89lx

11-04-2003, 02:12 AM

Sounds like you need an attorney real quick.

Good luck

Mach1Marauder

11-04-2003, 09:45 AM

Originally posted by Z4 Mustang
I am back in the house now and I am not leaving and neighter are my kids. She can get the fuck out if she wants. Yes she is cheating on me but has not done the nasty with him, just thinks she loves him and hates me. He is 9 yrs older then her and is married and told her he would pay for a place for her if she wants. To me this guy is just looking for a week end fuck and nothing more cause if he did want more he would have left his wife a long time ago. Well I called his wife tonight and she was told by him that my wife keeps calling him and the truth is both of them keep calling each other. So he is now being kicked out by her and I told my wife to eighter fix our problems or get ready for a big fight and I am not moving out she will have too. Oh well only time will tell if it works or not.

Someone found their BALLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alright man!!!!!!!!!!
Now get a lawyer! ASAP!!!!!!!

dilly4u2

11-04-2003, 09:52 AM

No matter what, you will always have money problems! you both need to talk things out and find ways to solve them. Teddy and I have these problems and we talk them out and so far we are getting better at it. It really does takes a while to solve your problems.
On the other hand...if she is seeing other people...I wouldn't mess with it. Kick her ass out! You can claim the kids and have her pay up with child support. Like we all said "KICK HER ASS OUT!!"

Angel_22679

11-04-2003, 10:03 AM

I knew just by reading your initial post that if she said she didn't want counseling, there was more to it on her side. I am totally against divorce, so I'm probably not one to talk to about any of this, but if she's been cheating on you (oh, and by the way, if she thinks she "loves" this guy, she's slept with him.....don't be that naive), then that different. It's really pointless to dwell on why she cheated, now you have to think about how you are gonna deal with it. Since she can't blame any of this on you now, you have all the right to stay with the house and kids, she doesn't. And now that the other guy has been kicked out, they are gonna see it as an opportunity to be together. Just do what's best for yourself and your kids. Don't bother with how she's gonna feel about anything now. She sure hasn't. Sorry for your troubles.

AL P

11-04-2003, 10:09 AM

Originally posted by Z4 Mustang
Yes she is cheating on me but has not done the nasty with him

This is bullshit too.

lone_domino

11-04-2003, 10:28 AM

I will agree and disagree with those on here. Your kids are not more important than your spouse but when one side walks out hold on to them with all you have.

Since she is having an affair there is not much you can do other than let her go. If you truly love her, which I think you do or you would not have posted in the first place, keep the lines of communication open. I know of many couples that have had to work through an affair and in the end it made them stronger.

Keep a good relationship if at all possible for your kid's sake, it will be important forever, not just through a divorce. Sorry to hear about your pain and will remember your situation in prayer.

MARIE

11-04-2003, 10:42 AM

She cheated once and she'll do it again. I would just let her go since she believes the grass is greener on the other side. I bet when the guy tells her he wants to work it out with his wife she comes crawling back to you. I wouldn't take her back but that is all up to you and how you feel.

The Raven

11-04-2003, 11:13 AM

Cheating is non-excusable, period. If she doesn't love you or respect you enough to break it off first, there is not enough left of your relationship that is worth saving.

BlueThunder99TA

11-04-2003, 11:36 AM

glad you called the dudes wife & gave her the real story. Stay strong & get a good attorney.:cool:

Angel_22679

11-04-2003, 11:45 AM

Originally posted by Got Boost?
Cheating is non-excusable, period. If she doesn't love you or respect you enough to break it off first, there is not enough left of your relationship that is worth saving.

Well said. Like I said earlier, I soooooo don't believe in divorce, but if one cheats, I believe all respect and love for the other was out the door way before the relationship was considered salvagable. BTW, you won't need to get some high priced attorney to help you out, anyone could win your case.

The Raven

11-04-2003, 11:58 AM

Originally posted by Angel_22679
but if one cheats, I believe all respect and love for the other was out the door way before the relationship was considered salvagable.

Is there an echo in here?:confused:

:p ;)

Angel_22679

11-04-2003, 12:38 PM

Originally posted by Got Boost?
Is there an echo in here?:confused:

:p ;)

Dude......I said "Well said" and was reiterating the previous comment. :rolleyes:

;)

92special

11-04-2003, 06:47 PM

Now that you know for sure she has cheated I would kick her out. Let her go try to take care of herself. If you do let her stay, I would make her go get tested if she has been fooling around with this guy.

dan962000

11-04-2003, 06:58 PM

98COBRA#770

11-05-2003, 10:27 AM

I can give you this advice.........don't beat the guys ass untill
after you go to court! I did.......spent three days in jail and
they made me look like somekind of freaking killer! Oh yea
I have been down the same road....three kids and all.

It will be very hard but try! :mad:

I feel for you. You have to think about your kids.

You said you where working alot right.........why because you
need more money. You need more money so you don't fight
but if your not at home she's alone. So your damned if you
do and and damned if you don't.

I found peace in the church.........but even that took time.

Good luck!

michelle95gt

11-05-2003, 01:28 PM

Originally posted by Got Boost?
Cheating is non-excusable, period. If she doesn't love you or respect you enough to break it off first, there is not enough left of your relationship that is worth saving. i gotta disagree

<-----living proof it can work after you've been through hell

if you BOTH want to save it, it can be done, no matter what kind of crazy and inexcusable crap has happened. It takes two to save it, one won't do. Respect and trust can be earned back, but takes time. Gotta learn to leave hte past behind and look forward to making a happy future, but you can't do it alone.

gotta agree with al- if she says she hasn't screwed him yet, she is lying........they always say that....if she wasn't screwing him, she wouldn't even have to come up with lies like that or defend herself.

Z4 Mustang

11-07-2003, 12:56 AM

Well she has moved out and took the kids with her. I want it to work no matter what she has done because I do LOVE her and my kids. I know that sound weak but I have spent 10yrs of my life with her and want to spend the rest of it with her and my kids. I dont know if she has FUCKED this guy yet but I think she has. I am not going to give up on us or our family. I will fight for my kids and her, they are worth it. I know if she opens her eyes it will work out but she is hiding something and I think it is that she has fucked him and that is why she cant look at me. She is so stressed out and so am I. We need councling I know it will help if she is willing. Like I said before only time will tell.

MustangGirl

11-07-2003, 12:20 PM

Here is some advise...if you put your family first and make sure that you guys are ok, THEN you can go out with you friends. If you have not gotten it already...you have to please your women first before you can have some fun. Good luck!

QT147

11-07-2003, 12:52 PM

You need to sit down and try to speak with her about the situation and see if she will even try to resolve things. And if not then it just wasn't meant to be. It will be hard to accept and no matter what anyone says or does it will won't make it any better. Just think of your kids and the love you have for them and that is what will get you through it. You can't make her love you or want to be with you. Good luck.

98COBRA#770

11-07-2003, 01:02 PM

QT147 did you become a member for this message?

Is this his wife?

Angel_22679

11-07-2003, 01:15 PM

Originally posted by 98COBRA#770
QT147 did you become a member for this message?

Is this his wife?

I can vouch that QT147 is NOT his wife. Good try, though. If I didn't know her, I'd think the same thing. ;)

BLK02

11-07-2003, 01:20 PM

Originally posted by Angel_22679
I can vouch that QT147 is NOT his wife. Good try, though. If I didn't know her, I'd think the same thing. ;)

Who is QT147????

Angel_22679

11-07-2003, 01:22 PM

Originally posted by BLK02
Who is QT147????

PM sent.

98COBRA#770

11-07-2003, 01:23 PM

I had to ask!:D

hopper

11-07-2003, 02:07 PM

Originally posted by Z4 Mustang
Does any one have any advice. She wants a divorce and I want to save it.

Wish I could help, but I obviously am no expert in this field!!!:(

Amber

11-07-2003, 05:59 PM

Well, hopefully she doesn't do the same thing I did. Decide she wants out, leaves, goes on about her business.....grows up and realizes she made the biggest mistake ever.:(

Z4 Mustang

11-07-2003, 06:18 PM

Amber: I hope she doesn't. I just dont know what to do now.

Amber

11-07-2003, 06:30 PM

Originally posted by Z4 Mustang
Amber: I hope she doesn't. I just dont know what to do now.

I only say that from experience. I wanted out and didn't want to even try to make things better. He promised he would change, but I didn't listen. About a year went by, I realized he had changed, but he was already seeing someone else. Another year later, he broke up with her and we tried working things out. Didn't work out that time, but now we are talking again, another year later, and I really hope it works this time! We have both grown up alot, and I realize now what I gave up on and how stupid I was to just walk away.

Good luck to you.

TATOM MACK

11-07-2003, 06:44 PM

do not i say do not move out of youre house the courts will get you stay there! If she wants out she can leave! Stay strong dont be a punk azz B!tch and cry in front of her. I almost got a divorce and she came back after i stoped crying and got a girlfriend she came running back and let her take all 3 kids thats not easy to do by youre self.

88hatch5_0

11-08-2003, 12:52 PM

Originally posted by BLK02
Who is QT147????

I don't know who it is, but can I hit it??

Jason

QT147

11-11-2003, 02:28 PM

Originally posted by 88hatch5_0
I don't know who it is, but can I hit it??

Jason

;)

The Raven

11-11-2003, 02:34 PM

Originally posted by Angel_22679
PM sent.

Hook a brotha up! lol :p ;)

BLK02

11-11-2003, 04:08 PM

Originally posted by Amber
I only say that from experience. I wanted out and didn't want to even try to make things better. We have both grown up alot, and I realized now what I gave up on and how stupid I was to just walk away.

Sounds painfully familiar to me....just hope mine turns out like yours!!!!!

Boost....be careful what you ask for!:D

The Raven

11-11-2003, 04:10 PM

Originally posted by BLK02
Boost....be careful what you ask for!:D

LOL! True dat. ;)

Angel_22679

11-11-2003, 04:33 PM

Originally posted by Got Boost?
Hook a brotha up! lol :p ;)

No, no, no, no......you see......88Snatch5_0's already hittin that. Sorry, too late. :p

The Raven

11-11-2003, 04:36 PM

Originally posted by Angel_22679
No, no, no, no......you see......88Snatch5_0's already hittin that. Sorry, too late. :p

He doesn't like to share?:confused:

:p ;)

Angel_22679

11-11-2003, 04:38 PM

You don't want any of that.............88Snatch5_0 might get mad at her for "sharing" you. hehehehehehehe

The Raven

11-11-2003, 04:40 PM

Originally posted by Angel_22679
You don't want any of that.............88Snatch5_0 might get mad at her for "sharing" you. hehehehehehehe

It's all good, I don't share either.;)

<--- greedy bastage

88hatch5_0

11-11-2003, 04:44 PM

Originally posted by Got Boost?
He doesn't like to share?:confused:

:p ;)

$20.00!! let's share

Angel_22679

11-11-2003, 04:47 PM

Originally posted by 88hatch5_0
$20.00!! let's share

See, I told ya. Back away slowly, Boost.

QT147

11-12-2003, 10:11 AM

Originally posted by 88hatch5_0
$20.00!! let's share

:p

SSMAN

11-12-2003, 10:58 AM

I am married with 1 biological and 1 step child. There has been rough times, I can honestly say from a fathers point of view..........its not being with your children that hurts the most. (not to mention child support). If it wasn't for the children .......Iwould say leave the bitch. But with children you need to do what is best for you and the children. WOmen are secure in leaving a man because of the child support and no court in Texas is going to give the man custody unless he can prove the mother to be unfit. From past experience........begging only makes women more secure, you must be calm and confident the entire time while in negotitaions. The fact that she doesn't want counceling tells me there is something else in this picture.......which I will not pry. Good luck!

Hankman

11-12-2003, 11:13 AM

the only thing I did when out with the guys was work on our cars or go to the races. I have never cheated on her

I probably should have read the rest of the comments before I posted this but, My Wife and I had the same kind of sitch going on back when we were first married. You state that you never cheated on her but the statement above says otherwise to her. I used to go out 3 to 4 times a week and my wife was stuck at home with the kid and felt like I did not care about making the relationship work. She said your freinds and that car are more important than your family. You might step back and reevaluate things with her. Show her that you are intersted in being with her.