jluv
10-07-2003, 04:59 PM
This joke is so much better told in person, but I'll try to get it to come across right.
Oh, and it is offensive. It is terrible. If you don't want to feel bad for laughing, stop now.
A man and his wife were in a bad car accident.
The man only had a few broken bones and a concussion. When he came to, he became frantic and asked where his wife was. Finally, the doctor came into his room to speak with him.
When the doctor enters, the father said "Where's my wife?!? Is she okay?!?!"
To which the doctor replies "Sir, please calm down. I need you to be strong right now. What I am about to tell you is not going to be easy."
Already the father slumps over crying, bracing himself for the news.
The doctor says "While she has survived, there are some issues you need to know about. Your wife is paralyzed from the waist down."
The man begins sobbing uncontrollably. This goes on for several minutes. Once he begins to calm some, the doctor continues.
"There's more. One of her arms had to be removed, and trauma to her brain has left her permanantly blind and legally deaf."
The husband cries loudly, pounding his fist into the pillow, obviously in horrible sadness. he screams and sobs and yells "Why?! Why?!" After a brief moment, the doctor continues again.
"Sir, I'm afraid it gets even worse. Although she retains control of her remaining arm, and has feeling in her upper extremeties, she will not be able to properly control her bodily functions. You will have to manually remove her fecal matter with an anal plunger three times a day."
After this last bit of news, the man falls to the floor, tears pouring from his face, screaming so uncontrollably that no one can understand him. He starts yelling "NO!" over and over. He is so distraught he can barely even breathe.
That's when the doctor slaps him on the back, smiles, and says.............
...."Hey man, I'm just kidding.........
.....She's dead!"
Oh, and it is offensive. It is terrible. If you don't want to feel bad for laughing, stop now.
A man and his wife were in a bad car accident.
The man only had a few broken bones and a concussion. When he came to, he became frantic and asked where his wife was. Finally, the doctor came into his room to speak with him.
When the doctor enters, the father said "Where's my wife?!? Is she okay?!?!"
To which the doctor replies "Sir, please calm down. I need you to be strong right now. What I am about to tell you is not going to be easy."
Already the father slumps over crying, bracing himself for the news.
The doctor says "While she has survived, there are some issues you need to know about. Your wife is paralyzed from the waist down."
The man begins sobbing uncontrollably. This goes on for several minutes. Once he begins to calm some, the doctor continues.
"There's more. One of her arms had to be removed, and trauma to her brain has left her permanantly blind and legally deaf."
The husband cries loudly, pounding his fist into the pillow, obviously in horrible sadness. he screams and sobs and yells "Why?! Why?!" After a brief moment, the doctor continues again.
"Sir, I'm afraid it gets even worse. Although she retains control of her remaining arm, and has feeling in her upper extremeties, she will not be able to properly control her bodily functions. You will have to manually remove her fecal matter with an anal plunger three times a day."
After this last bit of news, the man falls to the floor, tears pouring from his face, screaming so uncontrollably that no one can understand him. He starts yelling "NO!" over and over. He is so distraught he can barely even breathe.
That's when the doctor slaps him on the back, smiles, and says.............
...."Hey man, I'm just kidding.........
.....She's dead!"